Our expert says:
Sorry to hear about the continuing saga. Some parents truly take one's breath away, in the extent to which they can be totally absorbed i their self-importance and careless about others. Try to be a bit calmer, because your sense of alarm if perceived by Mel, may not help her. ANYONE MIGHT commit suicide, whatever their disorder or none --- anorexics aren't usually of an especially high risk. But distressed young women needing support who are being ignored by their significant others, are at significant risk of suicide attempts, and even though they usually survive them, attempts are not good for one's health.
Anorexia can be a stubborn condition to treat, but can be successfully treated. Its major risks are in the long-term, more than acute dangers. One common dimension is someone who feels out of control of significant situations in their life, and who choose to obsessively control their weight / size / shape / eating patterns, ignoring more useful things to control.
My reference to your mom asking her American friends, was simply to say that if she doubts that this is a common and serious condition eneding treatment, I'm sure her American friends would convince her of that ( and they'd be appalled by parents who ignored it ). I wonder to what extent your parents ignoring of her in general, could be part of Mel's problems overall ?
As M says, surely the family has a GP you could call ? and even if he saw her in relation to her collapse, given the right information about you, he could be alert to the possibility of Anorexia, assess her for this, and recommend to your parents, firmly, the right local shrink's assessment ?
Don't blame yourself for not being there --- you have your own life to look after, and are distant, for good reasons. Your parents have a continuing responsibility --- and they have managed to not be there even when they are there, from what you say ! They ma have something to feel guilty about, but if they were capable of feeling that, maybe there wouldn't be a problem.
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