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Question
Posted by: fes | 2006/04/05

dad drinking too much

What can I do, my dad is really drinking way too much and drives in that condition as well. It is really affecting me in a bad way. It was never like this only the last 2 years. What can I do from my side to help him and myself?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he can listen, tell him that his drinking is upsetting you and when he drivs in that condition, you 're fearful for his life and that of other people. ut an alcoholic / problem drinker cannot be helped unless and untill HE admits that he has a serious problem and needs help for it. You can't "not-drink" for him. I quite like Nicolai's idea of writing a letter to him, so he can have all your thoughts in one place, and can ead it through without interrupting you. And yes, too, Al-Anon ( reached directly or through the AA number ) could help you personally.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nicolai | 2006/04/05

I have an alcoholic parent so its pretty nasty sometimes. Maybe write him a letter telling him how much you love him, how concerned you are and how you are being affected by it. Make him read it when he is sober, sometimes its easier to get it all on paper, get it all out.

But at the end of the day Fes, it is their choice. And no matter how much you love them, no matter how deeply, the choice to change is only theirs. AND it is not a reflection of whether they love you or not.
Al-anon has great support for children or partners/siblings etc of people with drinking problems. Give them a call, i'm sure they can help you alone.

Reply to Nicolai

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