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Question
Posted by: Meg | 2004/10/08

Cybershrink - did I do the right thing?

Hi Cybershrink

I have written to you a few times - mostly concerning my relationship and confusion with the shrink I saw. Anyway, yesterday evening it all came to a head. Last week I took a lot of trouble to write the shrink a fax explaining my problems with the whole 'shrink business'. I asked her a number of questions in terms of what I did wrong in the session because I felt I was going nowhere with them. I asked her what I should expect from her as the shrink. I asked how we should draw up the agenda we should be working to and I also asked if we had overstepped a few boundaries as she had called me a ' -|- ing bitch' the week before. I said in my fax that it was my last attempt to achieve some kind of clarity and direction with the shrink thing.

Well - she had had a car accident the previous week and looked fine in our session but then claimed that whiplash had set in and she was not in great nick the following week - just prior to the session yesterday.

Anyway I have just been retrenched for the second time in 3 months - quite a record you will agree! I arrived at her office and told her. She then rabbited on about how I must find another job ASAP. I said that I knew that and that I was more interested in discussing the fax I had sent. She asked what I wanted to discuss and I said did she have any answers to the quesitons I asked. She had obviously not taken any time or trouble to read the fax or to take any note of my comments. I just LOST it. I said that she obviously had absolutely no respect for me, esp. as she had called me a ' -|- ing bitch', and that she obviously couldn't be bothered, so neither could I. She claimed that the whiplash had taken up her week. I frankly just think that she has grown bored with her job and has become incredibly lazy with regard to her clients. Does this happen normally?

Anyway, I stormed out in a huff and said I hoped that she had a nice life. I guess for her she's probably a bit miffed that her 'cash cow' has left the building! Anyway, I guess I am still furious at being treated in such an insulting manner, I mean if someone takes the trouble to write to you as a shrink, addressing real shrink concerns - is it not the right thing to actually take it seriously.

I am so tempted to write her a letter saying that I think she has grown incredibly lazy and would find any excuse to not actually have to make any effort. Frankly, my experience with the shrink business is that it was a very expensive waste of time and effort.

Is there anyone I can complain to about a 'slack shrink'?

Thanks again for your level headed advice - as you can see the steam is still whistling out of my ears! I cannot help venting and would love to do it appropriately.

Many thanks
Meg

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Meg,
It sounds like something very odd is going on with your shrink. For her to call you "a ' -|- ing bitch'" is highly unprofessional and peculiar. It was wrong of her not to have read your fax, at the very least while you were there, and to try to answer the issues rauised. And whiplash is an irrelevant excuse --- either she is fit to practise and needed to do her work properly, or she was not fit, and should have cancelled appointments until she was fit.
Your comment about a "cash cow" rings a bell, too. All that emphasis on your needing a new job ( obvious already to you ) sounds like worry that you should be able to continue to afford sessions with her.
I wonder how many other patients she actually has left ( especially if she calls any of them a ' -|- ing bitch' as well ! Your previous message(s) suggested that she was not seriosul grappling with your problems, anyway. Maybe it's high time that you got a new, competent and active shrink ( don't assume we're all like her ), and you could make more progress in three months than in all the time you've been with her, from the sound of it.
Keep copies of your letter, for your own records, and to discuss with your new shrink. You sound capable of so much more achievement and progress than she was able to work with.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Orie | 2004/10/08

Report her to the HPCSA I hope she would have her licence revoked , cow ! We put our trust and pour our souls into these people looking for understanding and respect and this is what we get ? Not all shrinks are like her , she 's the bitch! She probably needs a shrink herself . Send a fax and tell her " You need a shrink, shrink " she's lost it . Thanks goodness it was;nt me , I would have slaped the son of a gun . I've had good experience with the shrink except for one who tried to use me to get a tender in my company. He ended up promoting his company to me, asking me about tender processes etc instead of talking about my relationship issues etc and I was paying the stiupid cow for each hour we spent. Got tired of it and ended the sessions with immediate effect .

Reply to Orie
Posted by: Max | 2004/10/08

You should report this unprofessional quack without delay.

Go to www dot hpcsa dot co dot za and get their contact details there

Reply to Max
Posted by: Paul | 2004/10/08

I'd report her right away for calling me a bitch.

Reply to Paul

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