Posted by: fx | 2005/12/13

CT Gringe

how do you say no to people who think just because you live in CT they have free accommodation. it's amazing how many people think nothing of just pitching up on your doorstep and expecting aplace to sleep -
added to friends - some of whom i havent seen in years - who have suggested they spend time at me - my 21 yr old nephew (who never talks to me and want nothing usually to do with me) has said he and a friend are coming to stay for a week because his girlfriend broke up with him and he ca nt stay there anymore. how could i say no as he is family. but already i am stressed. they drink are irresponsible and untidy - i am so angry for not being able to just say no sort yourself out. i would never ask them for a thing. but yet i always feel like i owe his father - my brother - something. actua;lly i would be quite happy if everyone just actually left me the hell alone....and as for my neighbours who have dstv on full blast.....urghhhhhhhhhhhhh is it just me or do you also need a holiday...tis the season....isnt it!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Gringe away. I like Pretoria at this specific time of year, justy because all of those people have gone down to annoy the good folks of Cape Town ! Mahybe there ought, though ( in response to your complaint ) to be a Constitutional Amendment, stating that the length of such visits must be no more than the lentgh of time for which they have hosted you, plus the time spent in the preceding year in pleasant amnd mutually enjoyable contacts between you. And if ANYONE comes to stay at your place, it must be with your informed consent, and while they're under your roof, they must live according to your rules.
SO this nephew is running away from his ex gf ? What's his pals excuse for tagging along ? MAybe you need more practice at saying No. And when they arrive, check them in like a Hotel front desk, asking how long they plan to stay ( and feeling fre to see, sorrymbut we';re fully booked up, and have no vacancies after tomorrow ), and reminding them of the cost per night ( at least in terms of shared chores ) and the house rules. And why can't the silly boy go and stay with his dad ? Too far from the beach ?
Delene seems to have had a handy technique, too. And never mind the "Tis the Season to be Jolly" --- remember the immortal words of Ebenezer Scrooge : "Bah ! Humbug !"

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Our users say:
Posted by: waterblom | 2005/12/14

Oh heavens, when we lived overseas South Africans[known and unknown] would turn up out of the blue and expected to stay as long as they liked.
Sightseeing and visitng interesting places was for our account of course.
After a couple of years I just told everyone that the hotel had closed. Funny I hardly heard from any of them after that.

Reply to waterblom
Posted by: Banana | 2005/12/13

YOu have my sympathy same used to happen to me when I lived in CT,

Reply to Banana
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/13

hehe, when I was in ct i had the same thing. I lived on the beach, so they saw it as a holiday house.
I just said
"sorry, sum friends already staying here"
when they got in CT and visited, i said nothing...they got the hint. never asked again.

Reply to Delene

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