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Question
Posted by: CP MOM | 2007/08/15

CS, my dear friend

Good Morning to you

After another set of promises 2 :

close earlier
get someone to help on Sunday's
sms or let me know when late

Sunday he was still not home after 2 hours since the shop closed...I sms'd a friend of mine and she sms'd me.

stop the PITY PARTY and do something about it...funny how you and the world (including his sisters and father) have told me over and over and it then HITS me....maybe its the time, maybe maybe....but i had reached my point of not taking this anymore, not one day, not one more time.

Before when I wanted to leave I wished all along whilst making arrangements that he'll do/say/promise something to change my mind...this time i knew that regardless of what he does I will not change.

I am tired of 3 kids whos mother and father are absent
I am tired of not having even more time for Charne
I am tired of a man who works 7days a week
I am tired of a man who at 8.30 comes home and has only time for his kids
I am tired of being alone....you know Bon Jovi's bed of roses ? "You think Im not lonley just because I am not alone?" something like that....

And I phoned a friend who was in hospital or since then become a friend and low and behold in her complex there is a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom...she spoke to the owner who was about to give it to the rental agency but if i want it i can have it for R500 less, I don't have a full deposit - I can pay it off..things have just worked.

I have packed and I have arranged with g's sister for her sons to help me. G's given me quite a bit of money as well as his bakkies for the move....

And it's really happening...Ive arranged for the school bus, the domestic is coming with us because she is charne's care giver, the complex has a swimming pool ect.

My heart is very sore and i'll still cry a lot (nothing like having a savana, packing and crying) but it's time to stop the pity party.

I look last nite at his kids leaving their school shoes, wet towels in the bathroom and I want to freak, I look at the bread packet being left open for the bread to dry out...I look at the milk being left out all nite....and I turn a blind eye "not my problem" it's hard for Charne too she's got what i call OCD (you know what I mean as you explained it to me - remember not being real ocd) and living in a house where there is no order, clothes get fling on the floor ect....

She'll have her own room again and it can be as tidy as she want's it.... :-))

Thank you for your and everybody elses time and always listening to me. I also never thought this day would come or that i'd survive it....but we survive all....

Love Mom

(i feel sorry for his mother who will just have to look after them again till he closes......poor lady is 67 already)

NOT MY PROBLEM!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello indeed, CPM Well, maybe this was a stage that was bound to happen, and let's hope it works out well for all of you. Sounds like things have come together really well for you and Charne. G will have to work things out, and may now appreciate better what you were doing. Its a character trait that seems to be becoming much rarer these days, but I remember more in the old days, a man ( usually ) who becomes so totally devoted to his work, almost always his own shop, that he sacrifices everything to it without consciously intending to do so. And then finds that the work in a sense protects him from interpersonal problems ( which it helps to create ) or at least aenables him to hide from them. Sad, really.
Hope it all works out for the best for all of you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: lady nina | 2007/08/15

hi there

i'm soooo proud of you girl!!

just imagine having your own place again, to do whatever you want when you want ...

but i think the real benefit wil be for charne, she has a place called home, where she is safe and loved

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Adult CP | 2007/08/15

Shame CP MOM, you sound very sad. For what it is worth, I believe you are doing the right thing for you and Ne. I am sure that Ne will love having her "own space". I know all of this is hard on you, but you are strong and you will adjust in time. Stay strong and take care!

Reply to Adult CP

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