Our expert says:
I hope it doesn't seem annoying when I keep suggesting Counselling, but, if a realistic and effective counselling method such as CBT is used, this is indeed HOW to achieve the sort of aims you are asking about. There are no quick fix simple formulas to achieve such aims, especially because it took years of negative learning, in most cases, to learn, for instance, to dislike oneself.
We can't tll you what it means that the child's father suggests he might return, as this depends on so many different factors, many unknown to you, so you couldn't even begin to tell us. Its important not to get onself stuck on insisting on an answer for questions that may be unanswerable. I suspect, for instance, that even if he were strapped to a table in a torture table and interrogated for a week, he could probably not give you an accurate answer as to WHY he left you. Surprisingly many major decisions we make in life are for a thousand reasons or none. Many actions are impulsive, and not thought-out, and the "reason" someone may devise later may have nothing to do with their actual motivations at the time. I very strongly doubt that his reasons were about you not being good enough, etc.
His actions at the time, as described, do sound immature and childish. Its unfortunate biologically that boys ( and girls ) become capable of creating babies long before they are psychologically mature enough to be capable of making such decisions wisely.
He could indeed be motivated by selfish reasons for seeking to come back, and you should be extremely cautious about accepting his invitation or the reasons he gives for it. If you want to consider going that route at all, do so gradually and cautiously, closely watching his responses and behaviours.
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