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Question
Posted by: Maria | 2007/12/19

CS

Hey CS,

In light of your own circumstances, many of the problems you deal with here seems trivial. How do you yet (mostly) manage to answer with wisdom, wit and empathy? Especially as you get so many relationship questions and this is presumably not what you signed up for originally?

And how do you manage to keep track of people who post? I have this mental image of a wooden cabinet with rows of white cards with blue lines... almost like you used to get in libraries! Which is silly of course, if you keep track of them at all it will be electronically. Or do you just remember, and wing it if you don't remember a reference to a previous post?

Anyway, I wish for you and your mother a good Christmas, and that she will have a glimmer of joy on that day. Hope Meggamoggy keeps improving.

Regards
Maria

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Thanks for your characteritically lucid comments and kind thoughts, Maria. Hmm. Like most of us who "do it", we don't usually ask ourselves HOW. Its a bit like I remember in first year Medical School, when a brilliant physics prof got us to tty to think through how each different muscle involved in walking came into play --- and if we tried to walk at the same time, we tended to fall over.
Relationship questions --- I'm bothered more by how dramatically repetitious they are --- though we are such very different people in so many ways, when we mess up in our relationships, it seems to be almost entirely only in a handful of ways.
Keeping track of people. Interesting question. I think it depends on what we are doing --- I, and I suspect many other shrinks, tend to remember the stories, rather than the names ( which somehow is what surprisingly many people expect us to remember ) --- because in a way we are in a story business. Orthopaedic Surgeons tend to remember our X-rays and bones. And Gynaecologists may not always remember their patients when they're fully clothed. SO maybe its a matter of selective attention.
Thanks so much for your good wishes, which we all appreciate, Megamoggy's purring at the thought, even though he's not really fond of mince pies. He thinks there's not enough real mince in them !

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