Posted by: rita | 2008/12/10

crush on my husbands friend

Hi there CS, I have been married for 3 years, he' s 10 years my senior, we get along very well, and all' s swell, until I, out of the blue, started developing feelings for his friend ( my age)Neither of them know this of course, but I don' t think it' s healthy for a relationship. He visits very often, and we have a lot in common. Its just that I wish this feeling never started, that I could go back in time and skip the part where I actually fall for this guy. have you ever seen eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? I am thinking of getting a job in another town, so we could relocate and I won' t see him so often.

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Our expert says:
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"Developing feelings" is far more voluntary than most people want to acknowledge. You don't need to indulge in such feelings once they start to arise. No need to feed, water and fertilize such seeds of discord. You can stop seeing this guy immediately, with no need to move towns, Maybe there are ways to reduce his visits, and meanwhile get yourself active and involved in wholesome activities.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ouch | 2008/12/11

beenthere - that' s funny, yet serious ha ha ha ha

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Posted by: beenthere | 2008/12/10

You hubby has all my sympathy.

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Posted by: ? | 2008/12/10

U need to try and stop this. And it is possible. Here' s how:

- try to remember the things that u love most about ur hubby
- plan exciting stuff to do with your hubby such as weekends away,romantic evenings
- make love to ur husband
- try to avoid being around the friend, so if u know he' s coming by, plan an evening out with your friends, etc

Eventually, after some time, you will have lost feelings for this friend and you won' t even know when it happened. As long as you keep your mind focused on loving your husband, remembering the good times, remembering why you love will forget this guy.

Reply to ?
Posted by: Sg | 2008/12/10

We are all only human and at some stage or another we might develop a secret crush on someone else.The important thing is what we do from there onwards ie if we simply leave the status quo and don' t initiate or receive conversation that might lead to something else then there is no harm.Try not to put yourself in a position that might lead to something you will later regret.

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Posted by: anon | 2008/12/10

No matter what, do not cheat. Don' t do it. It will ruin you inside. Do whatever it takes to end these feelings and be faithful.

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