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Question
Posted by: Just asking | 2007/03/20

Crush on a straight friend

Not sure that I'm asking for advice but rather asking everyone else what's going on in your lives. I'm 28, single and established and kind of have my life together, my career's on track and I have a great network of friends and have I suppose a relatively full and stimulating life. I'm single and happily so. All's well except for this, I have a huge crush (infatuation?) on a friend who's 36, straight, married, two kids... How crazy is that? This guy just represents everything I find attractive in another being. We're quite close and both he and his wife are in my closest circle of friends so I know he doesn't have issues about gay guys. I try to control my feelings, even my bahaviour so that I don't look at him too often but I'm 100% aware of him when he's in the room. When I call them I usually phone on his wife's cell so that it doesn't look as if I'm into him. This has been going for well over a year, I date guys quite regularly and have two regular sexual partners (one of whom is engaged to a woman and insists he's straight!) but even when I'm with them I often think of him.

To cut a long story short, here's my question: How many other people here have a crush on someone else? Whether you're single or in a relationship, be honest here folks. I know I can't be the only one.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Just Asking, welcome to our forum and thanks for posting here.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Harry | 2007/03/23

I'll piss off but I'm not the one judging - who are the ones that need councelling/therapy ?????????????? Where does it say that I need to give you.......... my crudentials ????? of all people.

Reply to Harry
Posted by: Buddy | 2007/03/23

Hi, just asking.
Been there, done that. Deeve has [ut it well.
Only thing is, my love is deep for my pal, and it took years to get over the "cruch" - have to admit - wish it never happened - I consider him as a very dear friend, and would not do anything to endanger our frienship. However I know it can never work

Sterkte!

Reply to Buddy
Posted by: Buddy | 2007/03/23

Hi, just asking.
Been there, done that. Deeve has [ut it well.
Only thing is, my love is deep for my pal, and it took years to get over the "cruch" - have to admit - wish it never happened - I consider him as a very dear friend, and would not do anything to endanger our frienship. However I know it can never work

Sterkte!

Reply to Buddy
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2007/03/22

Hallo Harry. Haven't you ever looked over the fence? If not you are a super hero. Get a life

Reply to LONEWOLF
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/03/22

Harry, You're judging outhers here........who put you in charge?
I also see that you've failed to post your 'Sqeaky Clean' credentials.......so in my books, you're the Weakest Link, now Piss Off!!

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Harry | 2007/03/22

Move on - leave the happy couple alone, people like you break up marriages............................ sickooos

Reply to Harry
Posted by: Anon | 2007/03/21

Mmmmm tell me about it, real bad news. A fellow I work with. And we're both married.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Confused | 2007/03/20

Yea. I know how you feel. I have a crush on a straight boy and the other guy I have a crush on lives in the next city. I don't think that there is anyone on earth that hasn't had a crush on someone else. So, what are you really asking? Deeve told you to take a break from their circle and I totally agree with him. It's not worth all the heartache and therapy.
;-)

Reply to Confused
Posted by: Ghost33 | 2007/03/20


Deeve, said it perfectly. There is nothing I have or can add.

Also been throught that. Not worth it at the end of the day.

Cheers
Ghost33

Reply to Ghost33
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/03/20

Hi Just Asking,
Yes, most of us had a crush one way or another in years gone by...but the crush is always on the 'unobtainable' - especially married Guys!! You seem to be in these exact shoes....and everyone else gets compared to him? The only thing that I recall, is that somewhere along the line, you will start to notice the flaws, and the crush will fade. Doesn't mean that he isn't a nice Guy, and you wouldn't date him, if the chance came, but that you start to see past that crazy patch that infinitely draws you towards him. I would say, enjoy it while it lasts, but don't let it control you, or hold you back from living a 'normal' life. Take a gap from their circle, if this is consuming you right now. Cheers

Reply to Deeve

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