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Question
Posted by: Charlie | 2005/12/01

Crunch Time

So, last night i went home and was ready to leave. He came home and i wanted to chat to him about finances and my daughter. He drew up a letter stating that he has full custody of my daughter and i can see her whenever i want to and i can have her whenever i want to. His parents agreed that they would look after her financially and somehow i thought that was best for her. He also said that i should leave his car with him, because the car is in his name and i have no right. About two months ago he sold the car that was in my name and bought himslef a bakkie.

Even though i received a bonus this month, he said to me that all i have is R300 and that is all i am leaving with. He said that his parents own half of the stuff in our house so i get nothing. I am not worried about the material things in life because i know one can always get those things back.

Like a silly fool i signed the letter giving his custody of my daughter because, i had to leave with absolutely nothing not even a car so there is no way i can drive her to school etc.

When i think about signing that letter i want to throw up. My daughter is the most important person in my life and i want to do what is best for her.

Does anyone have any idea what my rights are in an community of property marriage?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dont sign anything without the advice of a lawyer on your side --- they are still manipulating you and trying to get you to give up your rights. You MUST see a good local lawyer before signing anything at all.He is talking sly nonsense about you getting nothing because his parents own half of what's in the house, for instance --- if they gave it as gifts to the pair of you, NONE of it belongs to them and half of it is yours. Even the car must be considered by your lawuer --- he must recompense you for your car which was sold to his benefit. And check w8ith the lawyer about how to recover from signing that letter under duress.
SEE A LAWYER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE ! Jakes comment about a cooling off period may be vital. Waste no more time. And if the impression you were given was that you had no choice and that your child would be cut of without support if you didn't sign, that was improper duress. Don't leave your child with them, keep her with you until a court orders you to do otherwise.
Hey's comment is almost frighteningly ignorant and unhelpful !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/01

Hey Charlie, I am so sorry about what has happened, but please do me a favour??? Go to a lawyer or legal advisor immediately, before the cooling off period for that signed letter is over. I don't know about S.A. but over here the cooling off period for something like that is only 7 days. Go now!

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: zzz | 2005/12/01

Hey were you ever in an abusive relationship???because if you were you will know that a mother can do it on that moment. If you were not keep your'e comments to yourself because this person is going through hell and she does not need negative support at this moment

Reply to zzz
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/01

Hey, yes, a mother can!!!!
She hasnt broken the control he has over her yet.....
Its easy to not make rational decisions in a time like this.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Hey | 2005/12/01

Can a mother REALLY be so stupid to sign away her child and her property to an abusive husband????

Reply to Hey
Posted by: Nicolai | 2005/12/01

What a b*sta*d this man is. Charlie please dont give up, you have to fight now, harder than you have ever fought.

Reply to Nicolai
Posted by: Jules | 2005/12/01

Hi Charlie

Try this website w w w dot legal - aid .co.za

Reply to Jules
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/12/01

You signed that letter under duress. It can't be valid in any court of law. You need to get to a lawyer immediately, and whatever you do, if and when you leave, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD BEHIND, it's going to count against you!!!

You need urgent legal advice, don't wait any longer, get it immediately.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/01

This man has screwed with your head, and none of what he has done is legal or correct. he has no rights. Rights are for the court to decide!

DELENE has spelled it as best as anyone could.

Sue the sh..t out of the man, and in community of property all assets are equally shared, no matter who brought them in. Thats why you got married that way, to protect yourself in situations like this. He has no rights, and got you to sign a letter to try prevent you from taking the matter to court.

Screw him, get proper legal adivce, and kick his twisted, sorry arse! You gave uup your car for his bakkie, he must return the favour or compensate you.

There is far too much abuse and manipulaton here!

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/01

I dont think it would be a good thing....her husband is an ABUSER!!! what good would a child get from that!...she acted out of fear & she doesnt know better....but its nothing that can't be rectified at all......

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Hey | 2005/12/01

Sadly it appears that your daughter would be better off with your husband. You did not act wisely in the handling of this situation at all. Maybe it is for the better of all of you.

Reply to Hey
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/01

Nowadays there is what is called a "cooling off" after signing an agreement. You were in any case under duress and the in laws can be held liable for interfering. I agree see a lawer, but it will cost. What controll does he have over your money (bonus, etc) and did you sign the transfer of ownersip on your vehicle?

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/01

HALF!!!!
And what letter was that??
Drawn up by a lawyer!?

Listen, i dont know how legal this is & was......custody is for the court to decide. he is emotionally & financially blackmailing you.
Pls, go to a lawyer & get proper legal advice. Non of this is right.
You have no need to give up your daughter at all, he should pay mainenance.
You can sue the SH*T out of them!!!!!!!!! especially with all the financial blackmailing going on, the are admitting they can afford to pay...So LET THEM!!!
you have suffered enough.....now FIGHT for your rights & your daughter and stop being the helpless victim....SHOW them you aint nobody to mess with!! youve dun what you thought you cant, so far youve dun well, now dont stop.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Tango | 2005/12/01

All I can say is get some proper legal advice today. I do not know how binding a letter signed like you did last night, under duress, is.

Reply to Tango

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