Our expert says:
Odd, isn't it, how sometimes we can get so darn bust just dealing with the daily chores and challenges, that it can indeed take years to recognize that this is not working properly and needs to be fixed.
Maybe he is an emotional abuser and maybe not. Usually with the sort of problems you describe, you are both part of the problems, and must both be part of the solutions.
Why not talk to him about this (when he is in as close to a good or peaceful mood as he ever gets !) and suggest marriage counselling so you might both be able to become happier, and more functional ?
As 40-ish suggests, there are many problems to face if you decided to try to go it alone, too. Better make a real and hard effort together to see how far things can be sorted out, before giving up.
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