Posted by: Hopeless | 2007/04/16

Could i be destined to be alone?

Is it possible that some of us arent meant to find real love and happiness?
Im only 26, have been thru a few realtionships but always got hurt, either my partner would have lied abt being single or they just wouldnt really be in love with me, they would love me, yes, but i wouldnt mean everything to them, they could leave me for someone else.
i kept askin myself if there was somethin wrong with me, cos when i ask them they dont tell me the truth(afraid to hurt my feelings i guess)....but honeslty i find myself thnkin that maybe i dont know how to behave in a realtionship, maybe i dont do or say the right things.
i broke up with my b/f of 4 years last month and the new guy that im seein says that bcos his "ex" is pregnant we cant have a "normal steady" relationship. i have always belived that one day no matter how many times i've been hurt and used before, that i would find true love and happiness but i have now given up.
i have now decided to take a break from relatinship, just to be on my own bcos i'll never succeed as far as realtions are worried that even after the break, if i try to go back to the dating scene again, i would still find someone whom i wouldnt mean the world to. i always tried my best in all my relationships, i would be there for them when they needed me, always let them know thru saying and deeds that i love them, i just never got someone who shared the same sentiments.

could it be that some of us arent meant to find love?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't believe that any of us are "destined " to be alone and lonely. Some of us may feel less need for close contact with others, but all of us should be able to find the sort of life-style with which we feel comfortable. You do seem to have made very unfortunate choices in the men you have befriended. DO see a good local counsellor to sort out your concerns, and to learn how to make better choices and enjoy more wholesome and sustaining relationships

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2007/04/16

Do you know what real love is? I don't think anybody does. What you need, and I found, is somebody who accepts you for mwho you are, and is prepared to go the distance with you. Moreover, you are far too young to worry about it. My wife and I were both well into our 30's when we got married. We have one child, and our second will be born soon. The right person will come; you will know when that happens.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: anon | 2007/04/16

Echelle , thanks for the advise. What you are saying is so true.
It is however difficult to look at other doors that are open becos
u are scared of getting hurt gain, or is sum1 else gona use u.
especially when you cant pin point if you doing sumthing wrong.
You cant but help to feel used all the time.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Beenthere | 2007/04/16

I have been there! I got dumped by my babby daddy and I had thought he was the one (boy was I wrong) and then I was so bitter it was not even funny!! I dated a 2 guys after that who pretended to understand where I was coming from but all they did was use me! I got so used to being used - i thought that true love was merely a myth until i met my husband - whom I thought was just using me too but it turned out that he truly cherished me! and now guess what - hardly after 1 year of marriage we discover that he has leukimia! Can you believe it! but anyway do not despair - take one day at a time and your soul mate will find you! Love will find you when you least expect it! take care

Reply to Beenthere
Posted by: Polly | 2007/04/16

I am in the same boat.

Reply to Polly
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/04/16

Anon - you are too busy looking at the closed door than noticing the one that has opened... Life doesn't always feel like being fair - but there's always something greater waiting for us - you just have to open your eyes and pray - if you don't pray for something better you will never get it.

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: anon | 2007/04/16

im 35 female ...and feel exactly the same way. You constantly think about going through life alone dont you? I know cos i have
been in relationships that has hurt so bad, and you just blame
yourself because you think sumthing is wrong with you and not the other person. Lifes not fair sumtimes dont you think so.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Clivia | 2007/04/16

You are not alone ! Be strong

Reply to Clivia
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/04/16

You are now afraid of saying the wrong things and doing the wrong things, that is your problem - you are so afraid of doing the wrong stuff that you're not yourself! Be 100% the person you are otherwise you will never find the REAL one that belongs with you.

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: Kerry | 2007/04/16

Hey Girl !!!

I feel your pain , U not alone !!!

Reply to Kerry
Posted by: rrr | 2007/04/16

42 and wondering the same thing.....

Reply to rrr
Posted by: pp | 2007/04/16

Girl you havent met the right guy yet he is still out there wondering the same as you that I am also destined to be alone. I was the same in my youth also having failed relationships and wondering if I will ever find the right Girl . Well she came along out of the blue we were engaged after 10 weeks and married 11 months later we have been together now for nearly 30 years and still happy. never say hopeless it is depressing and it will show in the way that you potray yourself. Have a positive and happy outlook and it will show in your persona and attract the right man . Good luck,

Reply to pp

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