Posted by: Wander | 2004/12/02

Corporate World

How does one deal with the conflict and politics in the corporate world? i have been working in a corporate office for over a year now and im finding it very hard to deal with. The friend/s i made have left and so i have not really made any other since so at parties or gatherings i find myself excluded from everyone im not saying that i do not try to mingle i do but i think that the people are not excepting me. I cry myself to sleep some nights because i cant handle working like this i have thought about leaving but i know for myself i cannot keep on moving companies just because some people dont except me. How do i handle it do i ignore them and carry on with my work as i do only come to work to earn a salary and not to make friends?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dont cry about it, it's probably not your fault. Some people are snooty and make it unnecessarily difficult to let other people feel welcome --- that's a sign of THEIR inadequacies, not your. And while you may need to work with many of them --- you don't have to be liked by all of them. I'm absolutely certain that most of them don't like most of the rest of them !
Be friendly towards them. If they ignore that, just consider it a sad sign of their problems, and move on to the next person. some will surely appreciate it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: J | 2004/12/02

Hi W

You are telling yourself that the people are not accepting you and that is your first and biggest mistake. You are expecting people to behave the way you want them to and by doing this you are just reinforcing negative thoughts.Replace those thoughts with positive ones, ie. You choose to NOT leave your job! You will make your working environment pleasurable for yourself and others.

Try approaching your colleagues, rather than expecting them to approach you. Do not ignore them.Greet them with a friendly smile.Initiate pleasant conversations at the coffee machine, ladies/gents room, etc.Invite a colleague for lunch or coffee. As time progresses, you can even throw a party and invite your colleagues.

Like any friendship/relationship - when you demonstrate kindness, acceptance and sincere interest, the other party will reciprocate.Others will revel in the attention your giving them and this in urn, will boost your own-self confidence.

Finally, remember when certain colleagues are not interested in socializing, it does not mean that there is something wrong with you personally.It is their choice.So you don’t have to cry and be so hard on yourself!

Goodluck and take care.


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