Posted by: green | 2008/06/09

contact with the ex

I found out over the weekend that my bf of 6 months is in contact with his ex gf. They speak about every 2nd week! I confronted him about it and he said that they are still friends and he just wants to find out if she is ok! Why would he care?? I dont know whether to believe him or not. Any forum members been in the same position?

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,,,,, ( agree with John !)

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Our users say:
Posted by: neo | 2008/06/09

jaaaaa ne lolo.what an advice mmmm

Reply to neo
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/06/09


when they are friends believe me u can't break them let them break the friendship themselves, and waht u can do for now keep in contact with your favourate male friend and if he think is not apropriate tell him the same with his ex.

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: John | 2008/06/09

Fairychild, I saw your response and clicked away. But it troubled me sufficiently to return to it: you say - or meant to say - that it is your prerogative to deceive your boyfriend who trusts you. Its not your prerogative - the definition of 'prerogative' is that it is 'an exclusive right or privilege...'

You have an obligation to be faithful and honest in a commited relationship. You cannot ring-fence certain aspects (like fidelity and truth) to suit your purposes. You need to dwell on these things, and ask yourself how seriously you take your boyfriend, your relationship and yourself. The things that are best left secret are things like the past, not the deceit that continues on a daily basis in the present.

Its not a right to deceive but a choice. What does this choice say about you, that you would choose to be dishonest?

Reply to John
Posted by: Fairychild | 2008/06/09


boyfriend won't understand an innocent friendship and your partner is a trusting, oblivious person.

Thanks for your comments, they have been noted.

However it's my provocative to keep it that way, regardless of it being wrong...

some things are just better left a secret.

Reply to Fairychild
Posted by: neo | 2008/06/09

i think for him not telling u and keeping it a secrete he knows is wrong why keep it a secrete if it is wright.if he feels like asking anyone how they are feeling let him ask you.if they don't have a child either he goes or he stays let him choose.

Reply to neo
Posted by: John | 2008/06/09


It matters very little whether the relationship with your ex is platonic or not - what matters (and disturbs) is that you are deceiving your boyfriend by keeping a realtionship with another male a secret and see nothing wrong in what you are doing. Now, either you feel you boyfriend won't understand an innocent friendship and therefore you are entitled to deceive him or you feel that there is something to hide.

Either way, you are wrong. Everyone is entitled to privacy and, lets face it, you don't have to tell your partner everything but furtive, sneaky relationships - innocent or otherwise - is not the same thing as the brand of lipstick you prefer.

A year and a half? Either your partner is a trusting, oblivious person or you are very, very good at deceit.

Reply to John
Posted by: Snowhite | 2008/06/09

Mine must try that one.....

Sorry but it's a no no and if he continues you should tell him anything you can do I can do better, watch me and my x's form now on!

Reply to Snowhite
Posted by: fairychild | 2008/06/09

currently in that position, however my BF has no clue that my and I are in contact. We have been in contact now for a year and a half. Relationship is completely platonic... we only chat over the phone and via email.

he is happy with GF and I am happy with BF. It is possible to


Reply to fairychild

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