Posted by: Ferial | 2009/05/19


I' m rather confused at the moment.
My bf and I have been together for 2yrs now.
He is 27 and I am 24.
I think he loves me(not sure anymore) ... and I love him.
He always says he loves me.
The thing that I have noticed the past few months is that whenever he does things for me, spoils me,
takes me out etc. it' s like he expects something in return.
It was never like this, now whenever he does things for me, buys things for (which I do not ask for)-gifts which are usually expensive then he expects me to have sex with him even when I tell him I don' t want to.
The thing is I do love him and I know guys have needs.

Anyways this past Sat. we had a great day which ended with a candle lit dinner at his place, it was really the best ever and well all I wanted was for him to hold and kiss me and just chill afterwards.
He as usual was in the mood for something else, I told him I didn' t feel like it but he kept insisting and insisting and then I told him to take me home as I was tired.
He then forced me but I gave in because I did not feel for arguments and just wanted to get it over and done with as I saw he was not going to give up.

It was horrible and I just can' t believe that was him.
He was so different as if he wasn' t even there, forcing me to do things and just doing as he pleased.I said no lots of times but he called me names and told me to shut up.
He smacked me when I refused, he pulled my hair, he bit me.
I just felt so low, this went on for what felt like ages.
He then got his cell and wanted to record me but I put my hands in front of my face and he smacked me and told me not to be a stupid b*tch and to do as he said.
I felt like I was having a bad dream and just did whatever he wanted so that it could just end.
He took me home and I never spoke a word and then he kept asking are you ok? What' s wrong?
I just said I' m fine, nothings wrong and then he would tell me how much he loves me etc.
I' m so confused because he' s acting like nothing happened.

I know we usually do things and even things that we done on Sat.but when I think about it I just feel sick and feel like crying.Why the hell did he lose it like that? Did he just go crazy because this is not him
I don' t know what to think as he has never done gone to that extreme before, it was the first time that I was actually scared of him.
Is this the buildup of the past months?
I just do not understand it all and he is the sweetest person ever again.
I haven' t been able to look him in the eye since then as Sat.comes up and I can' t understand how he can think this was normal.Well we haven' t spoken about it.
Then I think to myself that maybe it was normal because there were many times before where I said no, he done it in any case and in the middle of it I would enjoy.
He would say in my case No means yes.
Maybe even though I said no he thought it was like all the other times.
Maybe none of this even crossed his mind.
We know ea.other so long and yet I don' t know what he was thinking and why he never knew that I really did not want any of that.

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Our expert says:
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This is an abusive pattern of relationship and is likely to degenerate and get worse. If you really feel there is point in continuing at all with this relationshop, then see a couples counsellor together to see whether repair of it is possible. Otherwise leave and move on. The developing pattern is disrespectful at best, and abusive, now more obviously so.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009/05/19

This a-hole practically raped you! In your shoes I wouldn' t just be leaving him, but going to the police station and laying a charge of rape against him too! Unfortunately you would need proof i.e. pictures of bruises, bite marks etc.

Good grief. I' m totally horrified. One guy did almost the same thing to me once. It started out consensual and became abusive. I kneed him in the nuts and left while he was trying to recover.

You' re definitely worth more than what this - I can' t even call him a man - pig is giving you.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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