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Question
Posted by: not my usual nic | 2005/12/07

confused - need some insight please (FIO??, anybody)

Okay, I snooped (bad, I know) and this is what I found... What the hell does it mean? She is obviously flirting with my boyfriend and theres not much I can do about her behaviour. But are his responses cause for concern or is it harmless? Telling him I snooped through his email is not an option, I will rather just break up with him...
By the way, we were both invited to the xmas party he is referring to, but I couldnt make it due to other commitments, so he went alone.

*Her*: Hello u, Haven't heard back from you. Hope I didn't offend you yesterday in the joking around about the window cleaning thing in your birthday suite?
*Him* Heya, I did reply in a very forward way as well and I didn't get a response from you, so I thought that you were offended. Thanks a mill back for the party on Saturday. I had fun. Maybe we should take the washing of the windows to a more private arena...... Have a great evening
*Her*: Morning, Very relieved that no offence was taken! Why don't you re-send me that message I never received, so I have the opportunity to reply? I'm a little nervous! How big does this washing get, that we need an "arena?" :o)
*Him: Morning back, Its really not the size of the ship that counts, but more the motion of the ocean, hey? True or not?
*Her: "Motion of the ocean" hey! I wouldn't know, can't you tell that I'm a very innocent and totally naive young girl?
*Him*: Do you need reminding????
*Her*: Are you offering?????

I trust he didnt do anything with her physically (he's a bad liar and I wouldve told something is up), maybe they are really just joking around...
Help, what must I make of this, what must I do now, just let it slide??

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Our users say:
Posted by: shooter | 2005/12/07

it could be an ïnnocent"office flirt with no contact. if the sex declines in the next few weeks, he is distracted re you, then it might be more. you have my sympathy for what he is putting you through. i cannot follow inthe family trend & do this type of thing to my wf, no matter how "bad"things seem to be. hope things come right 4u

Reply to shooter
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/07

Being flirtatious is one thing, but being suggestive is another. I think this steps over the boundaries of being flirtatious, and is definitely on the grounds of suggestion.

Snooping is never lekka, but we all do it when we are feeling insecure, and we usually have agood reason for feeling insecure.

"..." is quite correct, he is taking it to the realms of fantasy, with an option of that fantasy becoming a reality. They are speaking their own language with the window washing thing, so this is obviously not the first time they are talking like this.

I have flirted with female friends while still being with someone, but its never gone to the stage of suggestion.

Dont let it slide, take charge, admit you snooped, and no doubt he will get pissed off at you for doing so, accusing you of not trustng hi etc etc etc , trying all he can to make you look bad to try detract form what he is doing.

Fine, let him do what he wants in running you down, but stand your ground in demanding an explanation for his sms bevahoiur. You can explain your snooping, justifiably. Can he explain his sms's justifiably? Probably not, which is why he will probably fight you. Letting it slide will not solve anything, and will eat you up inside all the time. It will also allow him to get away with what he is doing. Put a stop to it, and demand an explanation.

Only once you have an explanation will you be in any real position to make any decision pertaining to the future of your relationship.

Let us know, ok?

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: CaT | 2005/12/07

Its really difficult to tell, but i know i do that sometimes with my friends, and i see them do it quite often aswell, but we all know its just for fun
so i dont really know hey, maybe try finding a nice unsuspicious way of bringing up the topic at the right time and talk to him about it.

Reply to CaT
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/07

I think his responses are inappropriate... all flirtations start off with a sense of "innocence and fun".. it's done that way in case the other rejects the advances... He might not have any intention of taking it further... but the suggestion is there... and the continued suggestion could lead to lots of fantasising and eventually taking it further...
I'd be watching his behaviour for any changes........

Reply to ...

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