Posted by: confused_girly | 2008/11/12

confused heart... PLEASE HELP.

hi i am a 17 year old girl, and i have loved this guy that lives 400km away for... 8 months now. i know that many people do not believe that a girl so young can feel love, but in my heart i know this is REAL. we have however decided not to have a relationship until we can be close together. the thing is, i know he does not have anyone else, but it is hard for me. I date guys, trying to forget about him, but the feelings have stayed. I don' t want to use guys who i feel nothing for, but there' s a whole. i miss this guy so much and i try t fill this whole with other people even though i know that it will be unsuccessful. when i am with other guys it feels like i am lying to myself and cheating on him. my parents don' t get that. they want me to date other guys. it feels wrong. i do not want to stop loving him, ever.

I don' t know what to do? please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi there,

long distance relationships can be very difficult to work with, but they are not entirely impossible if both people are as equally committed. What is important about such a relationship though is that there is a plan of working towards being together at a definite point in the future. If that is not possible you have to ask whether it can work is you are never going to be in the same place.

Dating others will notmake you feel better if you are committed to someone else, and you need to be honest with the people you see. Having friends you spend time with is very importan though, as you do need to get on with your life.

If in the near future the two of you can be in the same place and have a relationship, all well and good. If not, then you will need to deal with the difficult questions about where to from here.

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Jade | 2008/11/15

I recently met this guy through my friends. He is 26 and I am 21. We adore each other and get along very well. We like spending time together  we try to do it as much as possible. He has a son, who is 9 months old. I don' t have a problem with it. He accepted me as I am and I accepted him as he is. The problem is that his ex girlfriend of 10 years keeps on phoning him and smsing him, every 5 minutes. We have talked about it but he just tells me that it is going to take time. He went to her this weekend to take some stuff to her and see his son. I find it hard to trust him. It feels like he wants to get back together with her, but he tells me that it will never happen and that he is in love with me... why do I find it hard to believe the things he tells me? And because we are dating I and my brother have been fighting all the time. My parents do like him but they do not like it when I am unhappy. If I think about these things I start to feel depressed. PLEASE HELP ME????????

Reply to Jade
Posted by: confused_girly | 2008/11/13

thank you very much for your help, i really do appreciate it. it has put things in better perspective for me. thank you

Reply to confused_girly
Posted by: confused_girly | 2008/11/12

sorry spelling error.... HOLE (not whole)

Reply to confused_girly

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