Posted by: Annie K | 2009/05/15

confused, depressed, unstable

I am going through a very confusing time. 2 weeks ago I had reached a very low point after months of feeling what I thought was ' numb'  but really was very depressed. I could barely drag myself out of bed to go to work in the morning, declined all offers to do anything social (just too tired to do anything) and constantly thought about driving my car 100kph into a wall. I hit rock bottom at work one day when everything just became too much. I had been snapping at colleagues without meaning to, and suddenly froze, felt unable to do anything and started to panick. I went to the bathroom and started shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. I didn' t know what to do with myself. I left work after mumbling an excuse that I felt ill - I just fell incapable of doing the most basic thing. Driving my car home took such concentration I had to pull over a few times to breath and try to stop the shaking. After a few more days feeling like this I suddenly got the urge to turn this around. Out of no-where I suddenly felt like I could do anything. 2 weeks later I' m still on such a high, but not a feeling of happiness or elation - more of a feeling like when you' re driving downhill way too fast - like out of control. It' s almost scary. I' m also struggling to sleep. I manage about 3 or 4 hours sleep per night if I' m lucky. I' m so scared of hitting the low again coz i know this high can' t last forever. I don' t know what' s wrong with me, but I need help before i completely fall apart again.

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Our expert says:
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Depression often shows itself for some time as numbness, as no-feeling. But the contrast between the depression you describe and the equally unrealistic elation, sounds like a possible Bipolar Disorder. You MUST seek proper help as soon as practical, by seeing a competent local psychiatrist, directly or through a casualty Dept, for a proper assessment and to start appropriate treatment. THis can be brought under control, but needs medication and other help, and leaving it unattended could let things get worse and to become harder to treat
Return to the forum at times, and let us hear of your progress

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