Posted by: rejected | 2004/11/09

confused and worried

two weeks ago my hubbie walked out on me and my 3 yr old.He is staying with a friend and has confirmed that he will not stay in the marriage the main reason being i moan too much.(this is the 4th time he's left)Before all this he accumulated debt behind my back and has lied so much i thought there was another woman(which he swears there isn't)
I feel so used i was willing to work through the lies and the debt and i'm trying to accept that i cannot force him to love me but he is acting like a pig toward our kid.Why is he rejecting her?Why do men do this or is it just a phase?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

hasn't he a cheek, to blame your moaning for the breakup, when his secretive debts were a good reason for moaning. He's not taking responsibility for his own faults. Men don't do this, some folks who are less than a man, do, sadly.
See a counsellor to work hrough your own feelings and find better ways to cope, and sugest to him that you both get involved in marriage counselling, if he wants to continue the marriage ( it wouldnt really be worth continuing the mariage without such an intervention to try to get things right ) Or, an consider your options carefully, maybe he needs to recognize that there is nothing he needs to forgive you for, but that it is you who has had to put up with so much from him, and he needs to make an honest effort to change and stay changed --- or maybe you might welcome the separation and speak to a lawyer to look at the reality of divorce as an option.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nina | 2004/11/10

From what I've found out,when men are guilty then they say the woman is always nagging.His hiding something honey, forget him, you will be stressed out for life with him.

Reply to Nina
Posted by: NoWay! | 2004/11/09

Put as much distance between yourself and this "man" (and I use the term lightly. There is no justification for a 'phase'... there is no justification for him hurting you (lying) and hurting your beautiful child.
No way, Darling, this may be one of the most difficult things you do in your life - but take up the courage (being the POWERFUL Woman you are!) and leave him out in the cold.
Get your lawyer to work out the debt situation and make plans to get yourself a real life with a real man who shows you real love.
They are out there, do not lose hope and keep looking to a brighter future - you'll need it during the tough time you'll go through leaving him (emotionally and mentally).
But you're powerful, right? You're more powerful than you know - reject the *&^% right back!
Maak hom skrik! And don't look back.
I wish you all the best - you deserve the BEST because you are the BEST!

Reply to NoWay!

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