Our expert says:
Glad to hear you've begun to feel better aleady ! And I hope the progress continues.
On the pensions issue, I'm as hopeless as anyone ; you need legal and/or Union advice on that. I guess that organizations and administrators may in some way profit from the great delays, as, if they're able to do this with a number of people, someone somewhere must be geting the interest on the money, wherever it's sitting.
Banks make money by lending, so if he had lobola problems because he was blacklisted, he must have had significant previous problems with borrowing money he couldn't pay back.
Would it be terrible if he did, for a time, go home and live with his parents ?
Your reluctance to hurry up and get maried, sounds really wise. If he's honest, then this guy is really terrible about handling money, and, serously, may need to find somewhere to learn about how to deal with his financial affairs better. As it is, he has put YOU into debt for him, with no benefit to you, and until he can pay off his debts and get a job, he's just living off you and not bringing anything positive into the marriage at all.
Of course, I'm not qualified to comment on the details of the lobola issue, but it sounds to me as if YOU paid your own Lobola, not him, so surely your responsibility is more towards yourself, than to him.
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