Posted by: Pondo | 2004/09/20

Confused and angry

Hi, last night me and my partner were playing with his cell-phone. There is this message that a saw and I wanted to read it. We fought over his phone until I won and took it away from him. Yes I did read his messages and got 3 messages from this lady and 1 from him. This lady was telling my partner how hony she is and how she cannot sleep without him. My partner replied telling her how much he loves her and to take care of herself till they meet tomorrow. I really want to get out of this relationship but I don't have strengh please help me. He did not even care to discuss this issue with me instead he left. Iam a student now and highly depressed I feel like this is the end of the world. I feel like calling him to apologise for taking his phone but that is not what I want, all I need is to move on without him but I'm afraid and don't have enough strengh to quit please help me to go on with my decisions.

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Our expert says:
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Pondo --- so you discover that he was being totally unfaithful to you, endangeroing your health and life by having sex with someon else, secretly, and he had lied to you and was still trying to hide the facts. Why should you apologise ? Its he who owes you an apology, and sure it's obvious that you deserve someone far more considerate and honest than him ? This should be the end of this relationship, not the end of the world. You do have the necessary strength --- dump him and get on with the rest of your life.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nat | 2004/09/20

Your broken heart will heal in time. Your wounds are raw right now but each day will be getter. You deserve so much more from a man and in the long-run you won't be happy with this guy. He is the one that lost out not you. He will regret losing such a wonderful person.


Reply to Nat
Posted by: Inc | 2004/09/20

Hi Pondo... stick with your decision... the pain will get better in time. It's not easy when you love someone.... but you can't stay in this relationship. Be strong girl!!

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Kasandra | 2004/09/20


Just hold on to that yes you are not ALONE, remember its just for now and just for today if you want to cry cry and feel those emotions, tomorrow is a beter day and you WILL feel beter -

You are worth it Ponda just take it step by step and keep on posting ....

Reply to Kasandra
Posted by: shaz | 2004/09/20

hi ya i sympathise with you ex partner cheated on me three times and each time i found out by his mobile phone...let him go to this lady he "loves" he will do the same to her i am sure . pick yourself up dry your eyes and hold your head up high darling you have done nothing wrong . just remember that what comes around goes around he will get his comeuppance sooner or later ! be strong sister and good luck xx

Reply to shaz
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/09/20

Yes it is most definitely gonna be ok!!!

You go girl...

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Pondo | 2004/09/20

Thanks very much for supporting me. I feel better now it's like Iam holding a hand of a strong person telling me that its ok or its gonna be Ok. I have been crying the whole day and for once I feel Iam better off without him . Thanks and thanks very much.

Reply to Pondo
Posted by: Kasandra | 2004/09/20


*Big hug* you say that you are depressed and there for probably very very lonely at the moment - when we feel we cant sit with ourself we will hang on and stay with the worst person possible as long as we dont have to stay with ourselves alone.

You need to find positive things start a hobby start telling yourself positive things about yourself,
Go see a counsellor that you can work together to realise what makes you happy and that you can find that happiness from inside,
Dont let depression get you down where you cant get up again,

Dont see this as the end of the world see it as a new beginning where you can find yourself and start a new journey with yourself discovering what makes you tick ....

Take care and good luck,

Reply to Kasandra
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/09/20

Be strong. He told this woman he loves her. Let him go and be with her. It's hard, but it will be better for you in the long term. You deserve someone who doesn't cheat, and who loves you and treats you with respect.

There are times when cellphones can tell you exactly what's going on, but I wonder how much problems they create where there is none. I'm wondering how many women will go home and want to read their husband's or boyfriends messages because of this story, and then get upset if their partner insists on privacy. It's quite scary. I have easy access to my boyfriend's phone and will never even dream of checking his messages, but if his behaviour changed, and he suddenly became protective of his phone I would also start wondering, and I might do the sneaky thing and invade his privacy, even though I know this is not really the way to resolve the problem!
Don't apologise - you suspected something, and you found your proof.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Tori | 2004/09/20

Why do you want to apologise to this man....LEAVE HIM. He is the one that is wrong.

Reply to Tori
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/09/20

You have made your decision. This guy is not worthy of you. Sometimes we become so attached to a person, or relationship, that we make a mistake of thinking that we cannot go on without this person. Actually, we become so familiar & accustomed to the attachement that we become afraid of losing that.
Know that you are your own person & you don't need anybody to make you feel complete...
I don't think you have any reason to apologise.
Stick by your decision. If you need support, turn to close friends or family, & always remember, you have us here too.

Life goes Pondo, live it!!!


Reply to Shaun
Posted by: paul | 2004/09/20

Pondo, why would you want to apologise to this asshole?

My word.

Reply to paul
Posted by: Anon | 2004/09/20

Damn these cellphones!!!
Dump the a*sehole!!!

Reply to Anon

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