Posted by: hil | 2008/10/21

confused about my feelings for husband

married 14 years. i care for husband do not love him. said so. wanted divorce. he begged me to stay and give him a chance. i feel trapped in a place where he will not grow as a person and in his lifestyle because of his attitude. his selfish, insecure, needy and complians to much. i have grown and become independant. found work. getting driving licence and basically have become the person that i always wanted to be. his negative. i' m positive. how can we survive. he feels we are living past each other. two kids and household to run. his not romantic. i try but he just wants sex all the time. what do i do?

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Our expert says:
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Why on earth haven't you two seen a marriage counsellor before now ? Sounds like you have grown and developed, and he hasn't ; work with a marriage counsellor to explore options ; maybe he can change, maybe you can adjust, or at least if you then decided to separate, it would be in an informed way, better able to avoid further such problems in the future.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Flower1980 | 2008/10/21

Get divorce.I' m in the same position,my husband try to beat me up twice,once he gave me a blue eye. He is not a bad person but 5 years of marraige living with a husband thats drrunk every weeekend and he still dont undersatnd why I dont love him.I told him I want a divorce, but he doesnt want to. He says he loves me all the time,but of certain things that he did, like being drunk and sleeping out and I have to sit at home with our son. He said that he would stop drinking,which he lied, we went away this weekend and he was drunk all the time. Now he wants to change because he sees that I have a I DONT CARE ATTIITUde about our marraige.. I still want a divorce but how will I survive with finance.But why should one stay in a loveless marraige. I wish I had the guts to walk out of my marraige.

Reply to Flower1980
Posted by: me | 2008/10/21

Im married three years, also having problems, and this is exactly what Im scared of, spending 14 or more years with a man and then finding out it isnt worth it....Iall the years of trying and working at it still didnt make a difference, why do we get married anymore, it just doesnt seem worth it anymore, the children of these marriages suffer more in the end. I think Im going to get out before I waste any more time

Reply to me

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