Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/20


I have a b/f, been dating for more than 4year, he' s divorced with 2kids. He has left me 3or4 times before to go back to his ex due to guilty feelings regarding kids, we moved into a house again, this time he promised me the same would not happen and I believed him,I believed in him. There was even a chance of a proposal as we are deeply in love (so i thought). Everytning has been going well until 2weeks ago, when I found an sms on his cell from his ex stating how much she misses him and he must not take too long to decide where he wants to be. I was dumbstruck, I had no idea he was unhappy, I didnt see this coming. I confronted him as I never read his cell behind his back,(he was with me when I did) and the only thing he said was that he' s been confiding in her quite a lot, especially when we have arguments. Obviously she saw this as an opportunity to work on him emotionally and now he' s confused, cannot decide where he wants to be. This is killing me, I adore this man, I' d gie for him, I' ve tried my very best to make this work, and thats why this is so hard for me to handle right now, Im feeling a bit lost and confused, I' ve told him if thats where he wants to be,I will not stand in his way, but how do I just give up the love of my life, how do I trust him again should he decide to stay? He also said he will propose to me as a sign of his commitment to me, but I dont know how to handle all this right now? He cant make up his mind, I dont know where I stand or where to go to from here, am I still being considered his girlfriend? I want to stick my head in the ground until all this gets resolved, but how long this is going to take I dont know. I love him so much, how do I handle this? Is there anybody here thats gone through the same?

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Our expert says:
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HE may sincerely mean what he promises, without actually being capable of doing what he says he will do.
WHy not urgently arrange to see a relationship counsellor together ( eg aranged through FAMSA ) to see what clarity you can achieve together ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/25

To the one who sent the 2nd last reply, wake up and read!!! Ex means, divorced, gone,over. So she' s not going after a married man for goodness sake.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Dumb is Dumb | 2009/05/22

You sound as if you are lacking a dose of common sense, to put it politely. What on earth are you still hanging around with him ? Wake up girl !! Try to gather up what little self pride you may still have and just get rid of him. You are your own worst enemy. He' s having a great time, with two of you on a string, going from one to another, lovely variation for him !!

Reply to Dumb is Dumb
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/21

url keep sayin url in this situation and that men doing this but its u coz if they are married y do url still c them it happened to me and sum gal knew we wer married and still went along with the relationship so url desreve it bitches that cant find a man thats not married.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: me | 2009/05/21

i have been in the same situation for 4years.he kept on goin back to her.i kept on forgiving him because iloved him so much.and there was a point also where he was promising to maryy me and we were even planning to buy a house together..never happened
but finaly decided this is not goin to end.i left him..he is with her now but keeps coming back to me.and i am definately not going back

these are the kinda men who love havin their cake and eating it too.
he jst want to have both of worlds.honestly he doesnt kow where he wana be
so it is all up to you.
but i am happy i left

Reply to me
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/20

I have been though this a long time ago. he was also living with me and kept on going back to the ex. He was having affairs with other women behind my back, even took them to our flat when I was away visiting my family. Not once but oin many occasions. I left him and moved on my own but kept on taking him back because I loved him so much. After 7 years of that up and down behaviour I confronted one of the women he was seeing at the time. well he came with her to confront me and told me to leave that woman alone. that dau I decided to leave him for good ane move back home. Well he married that woman, had a kid and got divorced from her. he is still living with his first ex wife but has another woman or who know how many. He has never changed. They always use the kids as an excuse. its sad and it hurts I know but he must make up g=his mind once and for all. 4 years is a long time for you to waste on a man if he is not going to make a commitment. you have to be strong girl and decide what is best for you. Its hard when you in love but does he really deserve your love? Put your own happiness first. If he doesnt make a comitment. leave him and maybe then he will realise what he has lost in you. Good Luck

Reply to Anonymous

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