Posted by: ROLO | 2008/08/25


Hi,I need some advice about my relationship.My husband is not trust worthy he always hide his cell phone when at home and when I confront him about this behaviour,he becomes angry and says that I am a stupid woman and he will leave me.Sometimes when he is angry he will beat me and take his anger on my daughter.I am not happy in these situation and when I ask him for us to go counselling,he refuses and says they will not believe me of what I say.I feel that I am trapped in this situation.I pay for the bond,car,medical aid and the maid.When I tell him that I havefinancial strain,he says other women can cope.On our lobola day,he was arrested because he slept with his ex-girlfried and she said he raped her.The following year pregnated his other ex.

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Our expert says:
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Yet again problems caused in part BY a cell-phone. But you are describing an abusive man who beats you, and that is not to be tolerated. As he refuses counselling, you might best consult a lawyer as well as an organization like POWA which specializes in helping abused women. With a history like his, it's sad that you went ahead and married him. As the bread-winner, you can care for yourself and your child ( though a court should require him to pay maintenance for her ) --- stop winning bread for him.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ROLO | 2008/08/26

Thank you all for the advice I will take those steps.

Reply to ROLO
Posted by: mambo | 2008/08/25

I agree with A. Hiding his cell phone means hiding information that he does not want to be disclosed.Get out of this relationship as there is no hope of restoring the trust between you after all that has happened unless you are prepared to share him with others.

Reply to mambo
Posted by: A | 2008/08/25

Best get out this is an abusive relationship with not much future in it, if you are the bread winner you don’ t need his abuse.
His refusal to go to counselling and hi statement that you will not be believed is a tact to distract you from the truth, as is his hiding his cell phone if he is not guilty he has no need to hide it ?
Tell him to get out go see a lawyer

Reply to A

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