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Question
Posted by: new | 2007/12/11

confused

i'm in a 5yrs relationship with our 4yrs old kid and i'm so much in love with this guy, but the problem is that we have been in this relationship for quite sometime and there’s no way forward. Yesterday after work I went to his place and I wanted to talk to him but his so ignorant, still then I raised a question to him saying that have we got a chance of spending the future together, getting married, staying together. And guess what he said to me that yes there is a possibility of us in the future getting married but honestly I’m not planning to get married now bcz I’m the eldest 29yrs and you now that both my parents are not working and as for now I’m taking care of them, my siblings, paying their fees, just as long as my younger brother 22yrs is not working so that I can hand him over all the responsibility to care for the family and that is when i will get married cz if I engage and committee myself it’s a decision that I will have to start planning my future with you, I love you. Then he asked me a question saying that why am I asking him this and I told him that it is bcz there is a life for me out there but I’m stack in a relationship that has no way forward and I wanted to now that is it valuable being in this relationship or I’m I wasting my time. I think his respond is being unreasonable what if his brothers don’t work till the age of 30yrs so I’ll have to wait for so long. Pls help me I’m confused.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like this guy has loads of existing responsibilities towards his family which he takes seriously --- admirable qualities, but they don't make it likely that he will welcome addtitional responsibilities such as mariage in the near future. From what you describe him as saying, there IS a way forward, but maybe not one that you want --- he seems to have been saying that right now marriage is out of the question, but before very long it may become possible. But it depends on tings involving his brother and others, and is less than sure

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Pearl | 2007/12/12

I really think its worth the waiting...I understand the suspention u feel, but it is said good things come to those who wait...

Good luck

Reply to Pearl
Posted by: new | 2007/12/11

The relationship is in a good condition, he takes good care of us and he supports me in everything that i go through. how long will i wait, honestly i just want to stay with him. i do whatever i want, actually i've got access to his place at anytime. do you think is it worth waiting.

Reply to new
Posted by: Pearl | 2007/12/11

Hi New
The thing is some guyz specially us blacks, Find themselves with this responsibility... Yet its a fact, how wud u feel when u guyz r married and he has to take care u & the kids and then there r needs in his family that he has to attend... if u wont mind sharing him with his family then u can convince/assure him that u can stand it... or rather wait for him to do the part he feels he has to so that when u guyz r married his full concetration will be with u and the kids...

My advice is check how your relationship is now... Is it good? satisfying to u? if it is the its worth the wait and probably his brother might get a job quicker... But if its rocky and not pleasing, then maybe u can consider other alternatives...
The truth is I myself respect guyz like that, I think it showz they r responsible guyz, and surely will be a responsible husband and father... the suspention can be overwhelming, but as i said how ur relationship is now predicts everything...

Girlfriend good luck...

Reply to Pearl

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