Posted by: MR Q | 2004/11/03


I'm 20 yrs doing my first year at Border Technikon I just don't know what is happening to me I 'm a guy. I seem to have feelings of guys I dont know whether I'm gay or not and if I am what to do because I'm scared of people around me what would they think and my parents please this is also affecting my studies

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi there,

many people question their sexuality, the main question you need to ask yourself is when you think about having sex is it with girls or guys? This will help answer your question about your orientation. For further advice there are a number of gay helplines around the country. If you are in cape town call the Triangle Project helpline on 021 4222 500 or check out their website at

If you are not in Cape Town they will tell you where your nearest services are.

The main thing is don't worry, whoever you are you should feel good about being you. Take your time telling others, there is no hurry to do this. Concentrate on what your needs are first and go from there. There are people out there who will support you and understand. I am one of them, so feel free to ask further questions.

Take care and best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Gaybuddie | 2004/11/11

Hey dude, maybe you are, maybe not. Think about it this way, when next you enjoying your 'private' time, think about who you'd like to be doing this with! If its Ben Aflick or Christina, you get the picture?

If you are, the world is coming forward leaps and bounds, and there are thousands of people in your shoes, who are either confused, or coming to turms with their new sexuality. Some guys have it lucky, and they know right from puberty. Maybe you just need to be a llittle more honoust with yourself. And remember, just because you see a guy is gay, doesn't meen that you have to be like that. I'm gay, I like sport, bars and going out. I likve women company, but don't want to be a women. Find a place where you most comfortable. Even little East London and Port Elezibeth have gay guys, and they will try and help you through this. Get ahold of your nearest gay org, and they can tell you where gay guys get together like bars and clubs. Also, in private, look up gaydar co za on net, they have loads of guys there. just remember, if you are, or not, be careful at what you do. You know the dangers of sex either way. And don't let people b**sh*t you, the odds are just as good either way.

Good luck.

Ps, I use the same profile name on gaydar if you want to chat to someone who's been there!

Reply to Gaybuddie
Posted by: Soslo | 2004/11/04

Having felings for another guy doesnot neccesarily make you gay give yourself to think about this really long has have you felt this way?have you ever had feelings for gals and if you have did it happen as many times as youve had feelings for other guys?If you find that you are gay try to help ypur family and community understand that,it might be difficult for them to accept at first but sooner or later they will have to accept it.All choices have their carriage and you should make sure you do what is best for you so you dont end uo miserable because you let someone else dictate your life.Blessings

Reply to Soslo

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