Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/11


Hello there,
I hope all had a good weekend, mine seemed to be going well, but the up's and down's caught up to me. I drank all the tablets in my house last night and slit my arm open in anger at the bf, he wanted to leave, he said's he wasn't going to and we need to talk, ha, men. I feel so despondent and miserable today, I had to get stitches in my arm and they again fed me the charcoal stuff. I just want to sleep. Why do I keep turning my anger onto myself, why not onto others. The bf broke the scissors I used, but I felt nothing, the blood was running down my arm and it felt great, the tablets did nothing, there weren't enough. The doctor said I'm on the wrong medication, that I need something different, the psychiatrist seems to agree, they made an appointment with me for tomorrow to change the meds. Do you think this is a good thing? I am so angry and frustrated and tired, nothing seems at all worthwhile anymore, don't get me wrong, don't and won't do anything stupid but just wish I could have a timeout, from my own self and others, I wish everyone, that is the so called friends, in my life would leave me alone and not interfere or try to help in their strange ways. Due to my 'friend' the bf wanted to leave, she was telling me that he would destroy me and I must get rid of him. I don't know where she is coming from and what she sees that I don't, but he has only been good to me, been there for me and seems to understand. I am so depressed today it doesn't feel normal. He even removed his cell number from my phone. He hasn't gone though, what should I do, should I break all ties with everyone or sit them all around a table and ask what the problem is, I just can't take it anymore. My life is just too topsy turvy......
Sorry guys for carrying on a bit, just so tired and in a bit of pain, which is at least something I can feel. Take Care one and all, may your day have something special in store for you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

BT, naughty and disappointing, for you and for us. this guy really does seem to love you ( no guy who doesn't loove you would put up with all this drama and still be around, would he ? ) So there's no need to test him or reject him. But never forget that this overdosing and cutting thing, however it might feel for you, is terrifying and painful for anyone who actually likes you. SO you cut without pain -- for yourself --- and HE gets the pain. Hardly fair, is it ?
A change of medication may well help, and it's sensible to consider this, in discussion with your shrink. As for the interfering folks, maybe just tell them that you're conent to work on this with your shrink and the support of your bf, and would appreciate it if they would not interfere unless asked to do so.
You find it hard to cope with these emotional storms, and you've had quite some practice with them --- accept that it's far harder for him to cope with them.
You know what you need to do for health, let him help you to do that. And steer clear of that wine, as it only seems to lead to storms and pain all round.

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Our users say:
Posted by: K | 2004/10/11

Hi there

Glad CS has responded because i didn't know what to say.

I think you should try to control your drinking, when I was on Prozac a few years ago I did the same despite repeated warnings against alcohol. I ended up beating the hell out of my car with a jck i couldn't even pick up the next day and made life a living hell for my kids and ex-husband. You become totally irrational and lose control very easily.

Other than this piece of probably useless advise I wish you well!

Take care you too!

Reply to K
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/10/11

Just wanted to add, he has been calling all day, telling me he loves me and he is very sorry about last night, he wasn't going anywhere and what I did really gave him a fright and he didn't cope very well. I suppose if I love him and should stop destroying myself because it hurts him too. I had too much wiine last night as well, my moods went from high to low in a matter of minutes and I couldn't handle it. I know I have to stop drinking and make changes in my life for me to come right, I know I must take responsibility for my actions and I am going to try.
To all on this forum, may we all find peace and happiness somewhere in our lives.
Take Care.

Reply to Beyond Tired

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