Posted by: lolo | 2004/09/22


hi all, i have been dating a guy 4 seven years.He was my frist boyfriend.After two years of dating i discovered that i was HIV +, .I told him & he denied but he was so supportive.The relationship continued as usual until recently when he broke up with me for no apparent reason. He said that he stayed with me out of sympathy, we can just be friends. This thing is really depressing me im not coping at all.I think of him everday & cried myself to sleep. Why does he want to remain friends and please advise what to do.

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Posted by: Inc | 2004/09/23

Leave his sorry arse... let him go and let him see to himself... you have enough on your plate... and there is nothing worse than someon abandoning you in your time of need... and to say that he felt sorry for you... what a creep!

Reply to Inc
Posted by: lolo | 2004/09/23

I am 26yrs. I really dont know whether he went for the test or not.But according to my knowledge i would say he knows his status very well coz all this years we used to sleep with out a protection.Recently we had an argument so asked him to bring his results to prove his innocence, he just ignored me.

Reply to lolo
Posted by: Sello | 2004/09/23

Hi Lolo

This is a difficult situation. How old are you? Did your boyfriend ever wentfor an HIV test and what were the results. Generally speaking, its very difficult to maitain good relationships in cases where there is HIV infection. I have seen this affecting many people in a negative way especially when HIV infection has reached advanced stages. Many people are not aware that they are making wrong decisions and this can to some extent be related to the advancement of HIV which is known to attack the nervous systems therefore altering your moods, concerntration, ability to take decisions, the way you think etc. I am not sure if your boyfriend is going through this but after all these years it would appear so.

Be strong and leave your life. Many people do not understand the impact of HIV until they become infected then they realise that all the bad things they have said about positive people were wrong. We are yet to see more of this.

Reply to Sello
Posted by: malaika | 2004/09/22

Seven years is a long time for someone to be with you and its not easy to let go.It is possible that he stayed with you because he felt that he owed it to you for infecting you.If this is the case then he probably was not 100% sure that he was +.He could have been suspicious.This virus can happen to anyone, not just players/dogs.Give him this time to think about what he really wants regarding your relationship and the reasons for being with you.Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder, otherwise take it a day at a time.It hurts but you will heal.God Loves you and he will never forsake you.Sometimes it is hard for guys to accept such a situation.He could have been in denial and only now it is sinking in - the reality of the damage done.Give it time.If he doesn't come right then let go.It is not easy to continue in the dating world when you are infected but God always makes a way.Be strong girlfriend.Be strong!

Reply to malaika
Posted by: Inc | 2004/09/22

Lolo... there's no word to describe this jerk... my ex-hubby infected me... but he's made a point of telling everyone that I was a slut when I was married to him and that I infected him!
So... your boyfriend is not the only cruel jerk around.
You will get over this... it will take time, but the pain will not get worse than it is now... trust me... it does get better ... and you will be better off in the long run. You don't need to worry about him anymore... you need to take care of yourself... that should be your first priority. I don't know what your future holds for you... but I can encourage you to take it one day at a time. We will never have the answers to why men behave so badly... and sometimes women too... but put your faith in God and know that He will bring your through this.

Reply to Inc
Posted by: lolo | 2004/09/22

yes Inc he was the only one. But even today still denying.How can he be so cruel?

Reply to lolo
Posted by: Inc | 2004/09/22

oh what a dog? He's your first boyfriend... was he the only one?
If so, then he must have infected you.
Unfortunately we can't guard our hearts from heart breaks like this... he's not worth your time. Look after your health. With friends like him... who needs enemies?

Reply to Inc

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