Posted by: Babalwa | 2003/12/17


My boyfriend and I broke up last year around this time. He came back begging me to forgive him a couple of months ago, we discussed everything that caused the breakup and agreed not to go back there again. He has now taken another turn, I don't know him anymore, he keeps things to himself, he does not bother to call me if I don't, I have to initiate to see him, he does not bother either. We never discussed if he has another woman, but I feel there is someone in his life. Sometimes when I call him, he sounds like he is not in a good mood. I feel I am stalking him. I love him so much that I am prepared to leave him again so that he can be happy but this confuses me as to why he came back to me again as he seems not prepared to make things work.

I am so confused. He won't discuss anything with me. We used to be transparent to each other and talked about everything, now it is not like that anymore. He is always busy and does not have time for me.

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Our expert says:
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Dear Babalwa,
The French have a saying that a door should be either open or shut ; and it sounds as if the two of you havn't truly decided whether this relationship is on or off. If you actually decided not to get back together, then why should he call you, and why should you care whether or not there is someone else in his life ?
And if you are "back together again" -- why are you not together, and why does he feel distant ?
Maybe if you give him more disance, ( don't phone him or chase him, leave it to him to come to you) you'll find out what is really happening. As another old saying goes, if you love someone, set them free --- if they come back to you when they're free to go elsewhere, maybe they love you ; if they don't come back, then they were never yours in the first place.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mona | 2003/12/17

I think you should stop phoning him, and wait for him to contact you. If he doesnt, then you know that he was just messing with you.... Maybe he wasnt really missing you, but was missing the idea of being with you, if that makes sense. Good luck! I hope you will find someone that will treat you like you deserve!

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