Our expert says:
As you'll notice if you read our Forum regularly, and check out our Archive, this is one of the commonest problems we hear about --- not only the sadness and pain of separating from someone you loved, but the extreme difficulty some people have in letting go of a relatonship that is over.
art of it is perhaps Denial, a reluctance to face the fact that it is over ; and a fear that if you acknowledged that it is over, this would somehow guarantee that the afair is finally finished ; but that so long as you continue to agonize over it, maybe things might work out. Actually, it doesn't work that way. It's over when it's over, and then agonizing about it is pure pain without any of the useful functions pain may have at other times.
Just as the commonest problem investors have financially, is their failure to sell shares that once seemed like a great idea but now turn out to be worth very little ; so it is in emotional investments --- people are too reluctant to admit that they made a bad investiment, however good the intentions may have been, and to sell out and re-invest their love and energies in a relationship with genuine prospects.
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