Posted by: Wondering... | 2008/10/05



I' m going through a rough patch in my life. Well... it' s been like this for a while.

My work is going great, i' m confident, everyone at work has picked up on this etc... and am producing some good work, which has been acknowledged. I have been for some emotional IQ type training, which has helped.

However, when it comes to my personal life, well... it' s non-existent. I' ve been studying since I left school... my degree(s) etc. I haven' t had any real relationships to speak of.

Yes... I' ve been on dates etc, but nothing of substance. I don' t know what' s going on. At work, i' m a different person to who I am when i' m out socially. Somehow, I become more reserved and tend to be a sheep and follow the herd, not go off and do my own thing.

Sometimes I am loud and abrasive, the usual thing, other times, quiet as a mouse. It' s finding that balance that i' m struggling with.

I' m trying to clear out all the rubbish in my life, make new friends, maybe meet a nice girl etc. I' m trying now to make new friends and stuff, through people that I know... but it just doesn' t seem to happen. I don' t know what i' m doing wrong!!!

Even if i' m chatting to say a girl, we' ll make small talk, but i' m forever asking the questions, the usual stuff, what you do etc. But what gets to me, is that no one ever asks about me... Why should I then be interested?

I' m trying to make a new start, but at 25, what do you do? You can' t exactly walk up to someone and ask them to be your friend???

I' m at a cross roads I suppose, this too shall pass. My problem is that I always revert back to my old ways... which will get me no where....

What do you think?

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Our expert says:
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Its not clear to me how the "emotional intelligence" stuff helped --- but then I wouldn't expect it to do so, as its simply very well-known olf stuff from other people, re-packaged with a snazzy title so it can be re-sold. However, it sounds as though you are describing a situation of being confident at work because you know you are competent at your work, and nervous in social situations where you don't seem to expect to succeed. Counselling could help yopu find the balance you're seeking, more efficiently, to avoid reverting to unfruitful old ways, and to evolve a more socially confiedent and comfortable style

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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