Posted by: worried | 2008/08/20

concerned mom

My son turned 17 in june, but does not show any emotions at all. He used to every night kiss us goodnight, now all he wants to do is be with his friends. Every weekend he wants to sleep out, we stopped this due to his terrible report from school. Are we to strict, or where does one draw the line and allow teenagers to do as they please. I know he told his sister that he is like he is due to us not allowing him to do anything. I just wish he would be more open with me and come and give me a hug every now and then and tell me he loves me.

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Our expert says:
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Without knowing exactly how he behaves, and how you behave in response to that, nobody can say whether you are too strict or not ctrict enough. If he has begun to fail at school, he should be grounded or at least limited in the time he spends with "friends", and he should be glad for you to meet and know who his friends are.
Excellent response fom Jordan. Praise him and encourage him for everything he does in the direction you value ; and tell him, pleasantly and calmly, how much you miss his hugs and expressions of love, because you are so fond of him

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jordan | 2008/08/20

I know how you feel. My son is turning 17 in November. What I try to bear in mind is that they are going through a very disturbing change in themselves. They are becoming men now and I think for men it must be very difficult. We woman still have it easy. There is such pressure on them to be more macho, be more in, be more handsome, be more strong. Woman can still cover up in make-up, guys can' t. I would say just let him know that you are always there for him. Praise him if you see he is trying to buff up by saying, ' wow, my boy is now a man' . Try to understand how his motions must be on a rollercoaster. Good luck.

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