Posted by: Helpless | 2009/04/20

concerned for grandchildren

Hi Doc, Sorry previous msg disappeared???

My daughter lives next door to me with her husband and two kids, 6 month old and 4 year old. They do not have a steady relationship. They build up their frustrations and eventually it flares up into something ugly. The kids suffer. Imagine the 4 yr old clutching onto the mom' s dress looking at them with a very sad and worried look on the face. Imagine the 6 month old looking at the mom then the dad and wondering what' s going on. How healthy can this be???

Her house is like a showcase. Her husband feels uncomfortable sometimes because she does not want things to be out of place. Her daughter is afraid to play with toys as she gets scolded if things are lying around. This is not a normal set up. I have spoken to my daughter who claims that the child does play with the toys. I rather allow her to mess up my place than being scolded all the time.

My daughter hated her father because of his anger as he used to shout or get angry at her sometimes. She is just much worse with her daughter than he was.

We take the 4 year old with us wherever we go to prevent her from being shouted at and she is fairly well behaved with us. We put our lives, which should be stress-free right now, on hold because of these little ones. What do we do? I cannot see them go through bad times and I am not around to " rescue"  them. Please help. Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, fortunately, it re-appeared, and I responded !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009/04/20

How far are you willing to go to ' rescue'  the children? Is it bad enough that you need to apply to the court for custody of the children? Or perhaps the threat of you doing that will be enough to get through to your daughter about the effect the problems have on the little ones? Could you suggest counseling to them? This is a difficult problem. Hope CS has a better solution.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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