Our expert says:
She sounds like a woman who (a) is lucky to have a good and thoughtful friend like you, and (b) who really, really, needs to see a shrink for some in-depth counselling to sort herself out, to lose all that undeserved self-hate, and to reach the happier life she deserves.
Actually, what "caused" this state is much less important than you might think, as cure or at least major improvement does not depend on the results of an archeological dig into her past ( to the extent that the past is relevant, it will enter discussion with her counsellor in relation to its impact on her present ) ; but on attention to her current problems, the automatic thoughts and attitudes she has derived from the past, the extent to which these are actually illogical and unhelpful in practice, and the extent to which she can reject those that test out to be fruitless, and replace them with more fruitful and helpful conclusions.
If you can encourage her to see a psychologist, to work on her problems and their relief, that would be truly helpful. From your description, she should be able to do well, but would need more skilled and complex interventions than a good and sincere friend could provide on his/her own.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.