Our expert says:
You don't mention how long you've been married ; but when you say things have changed in the last 3 months, presumably it has been longer than that, and used to be different from what it is now. You also don't specifically mention how old the kids are ; but anyway, it'd not be unusual for them to go to their dad with concerns as presumably they did before the marriage. Maybe after their mother died ( you don't mention when ) they had to rely on their dad, and he may not have adjusted well to this.
Apparently the boy in matric is highly stressed at present, and coping badly ; and may benefit from seeing an experienced counsellor. There's probably more going on to trouble him than is so far apparent. There are so many possible reasons at this age, that its not useful to speculate rather than talk tactfully and directly about it.
Sometimes a dad who cares about his kids ( even if clumsily ) and who is not good at expressing his love in words or overtly loving deeds, can be persuaded to show his love by getting proper expert counselling and support for the kids when they become troubled, for whatever reason.
Can you talk to the lad ? Tactfully, gently, and as a concerned friend who only cares to hbe helpful, and who doesn't need your own needs to be taken account of first. ?
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