Posted by: Kayla | 2009/02/04


Hi, my boyfriend has a son who is 4 years old. His best friend got retrenched a few months ago who has been divorced for a few years. He has been staying with my boyfriend since he got retrenched. My boyfriend' s son goes and visit his mom on weekends. According to her the little boy mentioned something about his private parts being sore and that uncle ? (my boyfriend' s friend) made it sore. He mentioned his name. My boyfriend asked him about it and he denied everything, leading my boyfriend to believe him. Lately the little boy has also been bothered with his private parts and keeps on showing it to me or some other people. He has been playing with the neighbour' s little girl' s private parts as well and was caught out by my boyfriend. None of us believe that my boyfriend' s friend did it but we can not just ignore this and let this pass without investigating the matter - it seems like my boyfriend just left it there but im really concerned as this is a matter of big concern and can affect the little boy' s whole life if it is really happening. According to me kids of that age dont just make stuff like that up. Another thing, during the evenings the boy leaves my boyfriend' s bedroom and goes and sleep with my bf' s friend....please give me some advice. My boyfriend doesnt know that i know all this because his friend told me everything and asked me not to tell that i know because when my bf asked his friend about this he told him not to tell me. Please give me some advice as to what i must do and make out of this :-(

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This sounds really sinister. ( and one wonders about the reasons for this guy's divorce ). Kids can fantasize and make up stories, for various reasons, but a kid with no specific thing against the guy, and no experience of sex, isn't likely to make up this particular sort of story. You're right --- we can't assume its true or untrue, buit it MUST be investigated. The mother could insist on taking the boy to see a good local child psychologist for a proper assessment, as such experts can use more indirect ways to check out what the child may have been experiencing.
And he should not be allowed to share the friend's bed in the meantime

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jason | 2009/02/04

Hey Kayla,

There are some definite warning signs flashing here.

I would take the boy to a doctor first to have him checked out for a possible reason as to why he is sore.

Then possibly a session or 2 with a psychologist.

The fact that he climbs into the friend' s bed is not good news at all.

Sounds a bit sinister....

Good luck!


Reply to Jason

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