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Question
Posted by: blink | 2004/11/08

communication

i have a serious problem with communication. strangely enough, i communicate openly and easily with strangers and colleagues. but when it comes to close friends and loved ones, i can not convey my thoughts and feelings.

this is driving my husband crazy - we've been going through a bad patch recently, which could have been eased by proper communication (and he really tried his best) but i just couldn't do it. i TALK a lot but there's no real communication from my side.

i haven't always been like this and i don't know why or when i changed, but this is causing a lot of stress in my marriage as well as my relationship with my child.

we do not have a medical aid (councellors are usually very expensive) and we live in the country (not many options as far as councelling is concerned). are there perhaps any websites with advise or tips on how to overcome this problem?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, counselling is the obvious answer, both to understand how and why you changed to this position of difficulty in communicating to people who matter about things that matter ; and to learn new ways of getting through this problem. But as you say for geographical and economic reasons this might not be easy to manage right now.
Good tips from Inc and Shaun, as usual. I was also thinking of suggesting that you write to him about the important things you're finding it so hard to talk about, taking the time to concentrate the vital issues ; and then you have something to discuss together, without you having to raise the issues anew.
And Shaun raises one of my facourite points about nopt relying on clairvoyance --- dont't assume that he "must know" or "ought to realise" important things --- tell him anyway.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/08

Hi Blink.

Good advice from Inc. as always. When writing it is sometimes easier to express yourself because you may not be disturbed & lose you train of thought, or intention.

Also, I'd like to suggest that you try stopping yourself from thinking that those close to you should know what you are thinking & how you are feeling. Remember that if you don't tell, nobody's gonna know...

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/08

Dear blink

You could try communicating through other different ways... maybe write down what it is that you want to say... sometimes writing is more effective... you don't just blurt things out, but instead, are able to give more thought into what you are writing.

Reply to Inc

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