Posted by: scorpio | 2007/04/23


I have a big problem. I hate any kind of commitment or responsibility. Be it a job, relationship, debt or even a pet. I don’t like being tied down and if I feel trapped, I want to run. I work better when I only have a temporary job because I know it will be coming to an end. My personality changes when I am in a permanent position. I become depressed and miserable as I feel like I am stuck in a cage and need to get out. My bosses have often commented on whether I want to be in the job or not!! When I am in a relationship, I feel like it is forever and then I change too. All my previous boyfriends have told me that when they first met me, I was happy, spontaneous, chirpy and that I change after a while. I hate having my freedom taken away. I dislike rules and regulations.

The problem is: I am 35 years old. I should have settled down by down, but I don’t think I am the type to settle. It is becoming a problem because I have a good man in my life and have a good job. How can I change this mindset?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Gosh, and then all those other committments in life --- like wearing clothes when one goes out, paying for the things one buys, rent, rates, and so on ! Seriously, this set of unhelpful automatic emotional assumptions is obvious hampering your life --- see a good local CBT therapist, as this form of counselling is specifically excellent at dealing with this type of problem.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Joy | 2007/04/23

Sounds like something more deep set going on. Maybe your childhood was a bit dodgy or uncertain in the sense that your folks also had commitment issues? I dont know, i mean usually the way we act when we're grown has got alot to do with how things used to be as we were growing up. Seek counselling and find out why the commitment issues root from.

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