Posted by: Confused | 2004/01/28

commitment shy

hi there

i truelly need help, im 26yrs and my BF is also 26yrs we've been going out for 2yrs now, we love each other alot. my problem is that we both had bad experinces in our past relationship, but decided that we gonna let the past go and just concentrate on us.

we got to stage were we would speak about marriage and children, he said to me he can only have a child @ 27 not ready yet of which i was ready as, the problem now is that my body is craving for a child , when i see little boys bettween 2 -3yrs i go mad .. i feel im ready his not, he tells me that his not raedy financially ( i beleive u can never be ready) the other thing is that he made me to take contraceptions i just did cos of him truelly speaking i want a baby

pls help me.

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Our expert says:
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Dear confused,
There's nothing that guarantees that even within a genuinely loving couple, you will both feel the same about everything, or reach the same sages of maturity at the same time. If he's 26, and says he thinks he'll be ready for a child at 27, I wonder what makes him think he needs justone more year to get ready ? Or maybe it's just a way of putting off the decision he doesn't feel ready for. Such decisions belong to both of you, with mutual respect --- maybe some marriage counselling, even a couple of sessions, would help to clear the issues and lead to a mutually satisfying decision ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Juzlisen | 2004/01/28

Dont "forget" that is deceitful, a child is a major responsibilty and that may be something he is not read for at this point in his life. Wait until you are both ready. Like you said you should concentrate on the two of you, dont rush. It will happen when it's meant to be.

Reply to Juzlisen
Posted by: Tj | 2004/01/28

Don't you want to get married first?

Reply to Tj
Posted by: J | 2004/01/28

To Wonder
I believe thats called wilful deceit..... not something a loving partner in a relationship should be contemplating. Having a child is a big step and should be mutually agreed upon (in a perfect world - of course) by both parties.

What happens if she does conveniently "forget" and then "surprise" him and he walks away??? Who will be "surprised" then?

Reply to J
Posted by: Wonder | 2004/01/28

Why don't u just "forget" a pill and then go to the doctor with him and be "surprised" of the news the doctor told u?

Reply to Wonder

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