Our expert says:
As you already live together, apparently in a settled and comfortable way, what aspect of Marriage as such, makes you feel scared ? This would be worth exploring with a practical, CBT-style therapist, as it could probably be sorted out, if you so wished.
Breaking up after 6 years hardly avoided 'stringing her along", nor did it avoid hurting her, or yourself. Now thatb you're apparently regretting the dsciion you made then, it's hardly a wonder that she feels confused. Maybe after a few sessions to sort out yyour marriage-fears, some joint couples counselling sessions might help to clarify between the pair of you, who wants what and how to achieve this. And maybe send her a letter outlining the situation just as you have done in this message here. And have the grace to allow her to refuse, i hat is what she now wants
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