Our expert says:
Be cautious. If this is your first relationship of significance, you are not experienced in such matters. YOu have only known him a short while. Don't rush into things and get out of your depth. Sounds like you may have some problems with low self-esteem. His ex-wife is hi s Ex, presumably, for some good reasons, or she would be his wife right now. Obviously he needs to be in contact with her about the children, but that need not jeopardize your relationship.
I'd be woried about someone who works in the police and abuses his position there to check out your home address --- why couldn't he have just asked you ? The flowers are an unconvincing excuse --- he could have brought them to wherever you next met. You're right, he did abuse your right to privacy.
He rents a house --- you don't know the financial aspects of the divorce, maybe that's part of the explanation. But yes, it offers you less security in the long-term, and living with his mother could be a problem. Or maybe not. You seemt o be concentrating on long-term aspects before you actually know him properly or whether you would want to continue with the relationship.
Take your time. Tell him that you feel uneasy about the sneaky way he found out your address, and that you expect him to understand that this would trouble any sensible woman. Either end the relationship now if you don't really want to explore further, or take your time, meet in neutral places, and get to know him a bit more. You have some good reasons to be cautious
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