Posted by: Vix | 2008/06/02

Coming back to haunt me

Hi There.

What do i do? My partner is having a really difficult time dealing with my past. He gets exteremely upset and wants to end the relationship everytime he thinks about it. He cant get over the fact that i was in a longterm (unhappy) realationship and that i was engaged to this person. He says he cant understand how i could have stayed with someone for so long if i was so unhappy. How does he know i wont do the same with him?

I love him with all my heart. How do i fix this? How do i make him understand that he is the ONE and that i am so happy with him?


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Our expert says:
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If you really want to stay with someone who insists on living in the past and not the present, then insist on seeing a relationship counsellor together to work through his hangups. We cannot change whatever happened in our past --- but we can change the conclusions we draw from that and how we choose to react to it

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: sadi | 2008/06/02

Has he done nothing wrong in his past???? Tell him its in the past , that he will have to deal with it, or you will find someone that will not care about your past and make you happy. Right now you are both miserable and he is causing it. We all have skeletons in our cupboards, but we have to focus on the present and the future. Living in the past only makes a person depressed
and there is enough rubbish going on the world to make us depressed. Tell him to grow up or get out.

Reply to sadi
Posted by: Mark | 2008/06/02

Vix, I was sort of this way as well with a former ex ex girlfriend. I could not handle her past (very, very bad). I did the same thing and go on and on and on about her past and ex boyfriend.

I was wrong and messed up. We eventually broke up, but it was a good thing in the long run.

You need to talk to the guy and tell him over and over again that you want him and love him.. But you may have to be firm and lay down the law or go for councilling.

It is hard.........

Reply to Mark

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