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Posted by: Not my usual nic | 2005/12/09

Cofused, need some insight cont...

Making a new post cause there's something I want to add:

Thanks for the advice so far guys.
Delene, you see, my predicament is that I snooped and there is absolutely no way im going to admit this to him. I need him to know that I know somehow. I cannot just break up with him without him knowing that he made a fool of me and got away with it. This woman even knows my name (i took it out of this post, she doesnt refer to me as gf, but by my name!) I want to see what she looks like, I want her to see what I look like. They will not be alone in the dinner, but its a crowd going... If he doesnt invite me, maybe I should book at the same restaurant (she mentioned which restaurant in the conversation as well...) with one of my guy friends...
Damn, im hurting so bad.

Maybe I should just email her and let her know that he is now avaibable??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What other way could you possible have founf out about any of this, othern than by snooping ? You don't necessarily need to explain how you know there is something going on, so long as you don't mention things that could ONLY have been discovered by reading the SMS's. DOn't do anything that would humiliate you --- and surely he is revealing himself to be someone you don't need in your life, and which maybe the opther woman deserves ? And why think of communicating with her at all ?
I'm still puzzled by the number of unfaithful people who keep copies of their sneaky emails and SMSs, rather like trophies.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ASP | 2005/12/09

Yeah, just break up with him and that's that. He's a real scumbag.

Reply to ASP
Posted by: Nomsa | 2005/12/09

I knw its hard for you right now and u r suffering big time, bt you need to decide first what u r going to do once u've confronted him. If u thnk ur relationship is worth saving(maybe this was jst a slip up on his side)then talk to him, try to work on ur relationship but let him knw if u catch him again ITS OVER, no explaination!

Again if u feel this is the ultimate betrayal confront him and blive me he'll come up wth lots of excuses&blame u 4 snooping. But stick to ur guns and tell him its over, AND U WILL GET OVER HIM its gona hurt bt you'll be fnie. Another lesson i learned the hard way: Dont ever confront the other women, they get a kick out of ur misery. Dont communicate with her whatsover. Deal with ur man. He's the one who should be protecting your relationship.

Please let us knw how it goes. All the best........

Reply to Nomsa
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/09

However wrong snooping is, was there any other way of knowing? Confronting him wouldnt have helped...he would have lied.
The fact that you snooped is besides the point completely. You must stick to the point.
the point is, he is a lieing cheating idiot.
he has no need to know how you know anything, as HE IS GUILTY........that is the point.

In fact, you owe him no explanation.
probably would drive him more crazy than you wanting to catch him out if you are really looking to have the last say & come out with dignity.
Do you really want to fight with or for a person like this!!? save your energy for sumone worth while.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Not my usual nic | 2005/12/09

You think I must just break up with him tonight and then email her to let her know he's now available??

Reply to Not my usual nic
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/09

This must be terrible for you. I think it was Delene who said not to go to the restaurant and I agree with her because you will only humiliate youreself.This must eat you up inside.I would have confronted him and bear the consecunces (sorry for the spelling) but this is just my opinion. He is defnitally in the process of cheating on you. I am sorry for these harsh words...Good luck

Reply to ZeeZee
Posted by: Pencil | 2005/12/09

I've changed my mind. I agree with ...
Don't tell him anything.
He's obviously not that into you (sorry to be so frank) if he's flirting with another woman and being suggestive...

Pack your things & go.

Reply to Pencil
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/09

You don't have to tell him how you know anything... just say her name to him.... and he will know!!!..........

Reply to ...
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/09

I posted something on the previous post btw.. :)

Reply to ...

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