Posted by: Super C. | 2007/07/22

Clueless : Mind games.

Hi CS. How's life.

I've been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks and everyday I'm feeling that I'm not who I was suposed to be. Being bipolar is bad, but that's just when you're on meds. Just being bipolar is good!

Thanks to a med change, I find myself, first time in many, many months, having a good wholesome manic episode. And I find that manic + dope = genius. Yep. Plus dope. Something has happened and I'm feeling . . . fanfukcin'tastic!

Now I've been getting newsletters from 2 guys talking about The DaVinci Method and being a DaVinci type. According to the test, I'm one. BUT off the meds. Not on! Off.

What do you call someone who sees himself very different than the rest of the world? For instance, he's HUGE, but he reckons he's sexy as hell. He sees himself as a go-getter and as very popular, while people sees him as a procrastinator and a wash-out. What is that called?

You know what? I don't think I'm a brilliant mom after all. My kid is strugling to speak, (going to speech therapist) and my mom makes a point of saying that every time she preaks to me. Thing is, I know it is. I've been thinking it for months now. You should see this little rascal, strong as a bloody ox. No really, she is no softie, but pretty as a darn flower. I'm starting to think that this girl either has a calling as a stunt girl, or is getting the worst posible parents for the job. She don't "fit in" to this perfect picture he painted. Ja, but who says he EVER dreamed of a little rugrat. I think never.

I came into his life and I destroyed everything he held dear. He gave me everything. And more, but what do I, this "thing", have to give?

If I put down in ink the reasons why and the reasons why not, I find the reasons why far outweigh the reasons not to. Not to only included 'that I won't see her grow up' and definitely 'I will miss him. I couldn't have asked for a better person to share my life.' And shared my life I did. He knows all. Girls, NOT a good idea. If you did something fukced up, it's past. Leave it the fukc there. Trust me on this. I had a pretty crap life. And therefor I am still having a crap life. Now what is wrong with this scenario . . .

CS, if you send me you mail address, I will mail you a kiekie of my kid. Jon Bennet had nothing on her. Ja whatever, it's the suggestion that counts.

Do you think I'm stupid . . .?

Do you think I can be worth more if I'm just me? No shrinks, no church and noooo meds! I was perfect, but somewhere along the line things went horribly, freaking wrong. The more I get to know about my condition, the more I see the person I once was and striving to be . . again. THAT would be christmas AND halloween.

All in one.

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Our expert says:
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Does manic plus dope really equal genius, or does it produce a simulation of FEELING like a genius ?
As for what one calls the guy with a hihly unrealistic view of himself --- deluded ? Lacking in insight ?
Sadly, I'm not able to post an email adress ( just IMAGINE what some nasty people might do with that !). But I believe you that the child is lovely. And surely much more natural than the Jon-Benet kid.
No, I don't at all think you are stupid.
But I don't think you were perfect ( who is ? ) or that without shrinks or meds you would again be perfect, or even better than you can be with the right help.

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