Posted by: Katie | 2009/07/30


hi Doc.
i was involved with this guy who used me to have a child he really minipulated me because i dont trust easily he dedicated 2 years to convince me that he was genuine whilst he was still married. he then divorced his wife of 8 years and married me or thats what i thought. They could not have kids together once he had got what he wanted from me, 3 weeks after my child was born he left and went back to his wife and left me with a 3 week old baby i only had to make him happy because he would punish me if he didnt get what he wanted he would withold affection until i caved. i need closure when i c him i wanna beat him u. I just want to make peace with myself and let it go but im very hurt still after 2 years. I WANT TO MOVE ON

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Our expert says:
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YOu must have been very vulnerable tom have fallen for that. If he was already married, why on earth would be HEED to have a child with you ? IF they truly for some reason could not have kids together, and that was for him an absolute deal breaker ( despite other options ) he should have divorced her before breeding with anyone else. And your mentiopn of "pubishing" you sounds like abuse. Go to the Maintenance Court and ensure that he is required by the court to pay full maintenance for your child. And see a personal counsellor to help you get closure and move on.
And folks, don't over-react to someone who takes a hard line on people who have affairs with a married man --- many readers have been the victims of such affairs, as the wife of the unfaithful husband, and still carry the emotional scars

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kelly | 2009/07/30

Why you got to be like that!
You know what, she never even said that she knew he was married, she woulc perhaps have found out after it was too late and even if she did know please its got nothing to do with anyone, she made a mistake and guys can be very manipulative.

Cs will give you the proper advice but I wish you all of the best and try to forget about that pig! He is not a man, if I could I woud choke the living daylights outa him just to make your pain go away but I do hope that you realize he is not worth your pain at all.Live and enjoy your life and you baby.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2009/07/30

Geez Cc!

If you don' t have anything nice or constructive to say  please do us all a favour and shut up! We are all real people here, who are asking CS serious questions, not some fiction characters that you can say anything to and be as rude as you like. It' s appalling how manners can just evaporate when online, that is if you ever had any.

If all you can do is kick people in the face, then run along now and go play in the traffic.

I guess it' s true what they say " on the internet, no-one knows you' re a dog" .

Reply to Kay in Gtown
Posted by: Really | 2009/07/30

Hey there,

Does he still take care of the baby, emotionally, physically and financially?

It' s sad that he did this to you and even though you knew he was married, you still went ahead and had a relationship with him! It shows how vulnerable we humans can be. Manipulation is something that NO human being is immune from and often times we suffer terribly of.

Counselling could help to assist deal with this issue, but I think that acceptance of the situation and moving forward is what will really help you. At least you acknowledge that he just used you... in a way, you have already started dealing with the issue. Whatever you do or what ever happens, don' t forget to love your child as much as you can! Inspite of all the that has happened, it is still your baby.

All the best.

Reply to Really
Posted by: cc | 2009/07/30

That s what happens when you get involved with a married man serves you right.

Reply to cc

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