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Question
Posted by: Lana | 2007/12/05

Childhood trauma

Hi doc,

I have a huge problem. I'm 36 successful in my job with an excellent pay, married for 12 years, and adopted 2 little one's.

but my childhood trauma still haunts me, i was raped when I was 5 and molested by a few unknown men, our neighbor and my granddad, I’ve was always told how pretty i was and i cringed every time my dad took me along when he was playing rugby because there would always be a grabby older man, (I am not making this up!) I can remember after the rape I went to my mom and told her my tummy aches, I think I’m hungry, I bought meatballs and chips (it also happened at a rugby match) and ate till I vomit.

I could remember since then I always ate too much to get away from the 'hungry feeling' in my tummy. But since a few years back I started accepted what happened was not my fault and self healing and forgiveness brought some calmness in my life.

But I cannot stop binging.. Sometimes I ate normal for weeks and then just suddenly I cannot help myself stuffing food down. I hate myself for doing it to myself but cannot stop!? Will counseling help for my binging nightmare? I am hugely overweight and I need help because my babies is still very young, i dont want them to be brought up without a mother.

tx doc!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear of these horrible experiences. One possible effect of these, some people have noted, is a reluctance to become "oretty" again, by different means, including eating disorders making one too large to be "pretty". And as you describe, over-eating to feel a feeling o a void within, even though it doesn't really have anything to do with any lack of food. OK, you have begin to make progress on your own, and haven't YET stopped binging. But you can stop it. Skillfull counselling / therapy would indeed help. In my eperience, it'd best be a form called CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) which is especially effective and changing habitual unpleasant and unhelpful thoughts and behaviours, and avoid "analytical" types who want to talk for years without getting anywhere. You can indeed be helped to complete the progress you began to find on your own ; to no longer have such an empty sense to fill, and no longer to need food to be what you try to fill it with. DO see a good local shrink for a full assessment and a discussion of such treatment options

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