Posted by: Hopeless | 2009/07/15

Child and 2 countries

I have a beautiful 5 year old son with a European girl. After living in Europe for some years, I returned to SA because, although it made me happy to be with my son, I could no longer live in Europe without getting severely depressed. I also came back to SA assuming that I would cope with missing my son, and also under the confident belief that my girlfriend would join me here later.

The problem now is that although I no longer have depression problems in SA, I miss my son terribly. My girlfriend has indicated that she changed her mind and doesn' t want to come to SA anymore. Because of mainly this, we have broken up. I want to stay in SA while my ex-girlfriend wants to stay in Europe (with our son). Persuading her to move to SA is impossible. However I cannot function normally (work, etc.) as I miss holding my son too much. Just like living in Europe under severe depression also caused me not to function normally.

What to do? Any solutions / formulas that have worked for others that I maybe did not think of before? I have run out of ideas. I am climbing out the walls out of frustration from missing my son. Just like I did in Europe from living there. Please help.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It would be worth exploring these "depression" issues with a good local shrink. Often, we Africans, like some Australians, find much to love in Europe, but find the weather not only "depressing" in a general way with the cold and rain, but the relative lack of sunlight for extended periods in the year. And some forms of Depression are light-sensitive, like Seasonal Affective Disorder, with the appropriate abbreviation of SAD. And it can be controlled by deliberate exposure to particular types of light , including sitting under some types of lamp.
It is not surprising that you miss your son ( though I notice that you don't mention missing your son's mother ). Presumably, she would miss Europe as much as you missed SA. What is he situation regarding your break-up with her ? If you did learn to manage the depression, and returned to Europe, what access would you have to the boy, and what job prospects are there for you, there ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.