Posted by: Sandy | 2012/11/10

Child abuse

Hi, I am not sure who I should ask the question from. I am just suspecting of a 4 years old being abused by his grandmother. I like to know if the child is telling me the truth. if you are not the right person to answer please advice me where here I should ask the question from. Thank you

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Our expert says:
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SOme people mistakenly assume that every child always tells the absolute truth, and this is not so. Children also fantasize and have lively imaginations, and may also miscommunicate what they are wanting to say. But especially in a child so young, if they were exaggerating or inventing some story, it'd be rather obviously unrealistic. On most things they are likely to be truthful. If there is any real doubt, they should be seen and assessed by a child psychologist. Only such an expert assessor could be reasonably sure in such a case, and would also be able to help intervene usefully so as to protect the child

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sandy | 2012/11/13

Thank you everyone for the comments. There is no emergency right now as he is with me for another couple of weeks (I am his aunt). I phoned the parents but the father has problem believing as the accused woman is his mother (the child’ s grandmother). I never heard of a woman sexually abusing a boy. So I am not sure how true this can be. I don’ t know how much I am allowed to explain here, but he knows things that to my mind four years old are not suppose to know. Especially when I asked him why she touches him, his answer shocked me. How can I ask the questions to make sure he is telling me the truth?

Reply to Sandy
Posted by: just me | 2012/11/12

If you suspect a crime, you have to report it - else you become an accomplice!

I would rather report a crime against a child and be proven wrong, than keep quite and be proven right.

Report it to child welfare. They will appoint a psychologist to investigate.

Reply to just me
Posted by: Queen | 2012/11/12

I''d be very careful with this one if I were you, due to the age of the child. They have a very wild imagination and are very good at telling stories. I have a 5yr old daughter and she sometimes tells me weird stories which when I follow up, I realise that they were just her imagination. For example, she told me that the nanny stole her tooth fairy money and used it a her taxi fare. When I asked the nanny she showed me the spinach she''d bought with the money. She''d tell me her friends were very mean to her at school only to find that they just didn''t want to play the game she wanted.

Reply to Queen
Posted by: g | 2012/11/10

Sandy, I applaud you. Too many children suffer the effects of abuse because adults fail to notice, or just ignore, what is going on. Please do not keep quite, children have active imaginations, but at 4, he may be telling the truth if the details are not what a 4 year old should know. please help this innocent child. Thank you for taking notice and even asking. I have been a victim and wonder if any of the adults ( and there where so many) noticed and just ignored it to protect the perpetrator.

Reply to g

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