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Question
Posted by: Why? | 2005/01/13

Cheating partner.

After a 3 year relationship with a beautiful child my relationship has come to an end. My partner has confessed to having cheated on me several times and says he cant help what he does.
He lusts other woman and wont rest until he gets everything out of his system... I cant understand why he would turn to woman he doesnt even know? He says he needs help for the way he feels and wants me to try again once he is fine.. How can I ever forgive him for lieing to me? I feel really depressed. Why do men cheat and in the same breath say they love you? His being cheating on me from the start of the relationship. why do men drag woman through this if they dont know what they want? I need advice to get over him and start my life.

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Our expert says:
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Well, maybe it's true that he cheated, but its NEVER true that he couldn't help himself. DIDN'T help himself, maybe. This isn't a thing he needs to get out of his system by screwing around --- it's a wekness and immaturity in himself he needs to sort out in counselling, so he can grow up and start acting like a man rather than an infant. So he thinks he needs help ? He's right --- let him see a counsellor. meanwhile, maybe a counsellor for you, yourself, would help you to understand how lucky you are to be rid of the randy infant, and to free yourself to get on with a far better life.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sister | 2005/01/13

You can break away now or wait unitl you are totally destroyed before you break away. I stuck it out too long hoping it would change and in the process lost everything I own and are now bankrupt (always trying to bail him out of situations or fix his problems). So leave now and take your sanity with you because I know I lost mine.

If you have kids think about what is best for them.

Reply to Sister
Posted by: mathatha | 2005/01/13

i think going around asking ourselfs why,when,what will not help the situation at all.whatever the answer is, he did it anyway.the most important thing now is what you are going to do about it.in situations like these its important to remeber that your happiness is in your own hands. forget what he did and what he wants. start asking yourself about you.be selfish about your problems.its all about you as well!!

Reply to mathatha
Posted by: ABC | 2005/01/13

You have got the right attitude from the outset. Let me just say that.

You need advice to get over him and start your life. That's perfect.

I'm all for understanding a problem, but frankly my dear, whose got the problem? Would he expect you to be understanding if the tables were turned?

Let him to his lifestyle, the only way for some people to learn is to feel, and he needs to feel the loneliness of unloving sex for him to understand true love and FAITHFULNESS.

That's his sad story - now for the real crunch : Your life. Go live it. Decide what you want to do and start doing those things - you need to keep your mind occupied if you are to get over this. So occupy it with fun things, do things with your child, do so much that you;ve always wanted and then do more.

One thing please : DO NOT LOOK BACK. He can find someone else to cheat on. Cheating has got to be one of the most hurtful things a person can do to someone they claim to "love", while they're pumping their "love" into anything else with the same equipment as you have. Give me a break, and more importantly, BREAK from him and his pathetic excuses.

Go have fun with your life and I really really really wish you everything of the best, I wish you strength and courage and more strength to face what you have to. It's scary, but look at the fear as endless opportunities.

Forget him.

Reply to ABC
Posted by: anon | 2005/01/13

they always do it. But your case is somewhat different, he actually confessed to doing it!!!!! Some of us find out from other people or discover it ourselves, or catch them in the act. Then you comfront them and they deny it. They'll come with all sorts of excuses and would never just say I cheated and I'm sorry.

Men do it!! maybe you could also look at the previous postings on cheating as well. But not to justify his behaviour at least he confessed and admitted to doing it.

Reply to anon

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