Posted by: Blondie | 2007/11/27


my boyfriend cheated on me but whats worse lied about it for 2 years and even denied it in the face of evidence . I just cant seem to get over the deceit esp when i always see the girl he cheated on when i go out . I am just so angry . can i ever get over this ..... is it possible ?

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Our expert says:
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Undoubtedly it is possible to get over it, though it often takes a bit longer than you may expect --- and practical counselling may help you to get through this more efficiently

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me 2 | 2007/11/28

Moving out could be one option or forgiving could be another. Move out if you really really had enough. Because if you stil love him and move out you will always be wondering if he is with her now and what he is doing and that will kill you inside.
If you forgive, truely forgive. This happened to me and i forgave (I'm not saying that i dont think about it cause i do but i chose to stay and forgive).
Its almost 6 months later and i still find it hard to trust but i forgave but i'll never forget.
Trust comes from both sides - when you forgave it should have been on your conditions.
Cheating on him is not a good idea at all. You will think less of yourself and he will think nothing of you. You will hurt more. That was a little bit of bad advise.
If you forgive you forgive and dont get even.

Do things that you guys did before (romantic dinners / movies / picnics) and make yourselves realise what you actually love about each other.

If you show him you hurting and still thinking about it all the time you will be forcing him to think about her and what they did together cause you not making him happy. Dont do that to your relationship. Pretent to be happy (when you sad - you will get over it - Only if you really want to) and kill hime with kindness that will eat him alive and he will be a much better parner.

I hope this helps. Good Luck and my thoughts are with you.

Reply to Me 2
Posted by: Me | 2007/11/27

Personally I would move out, find someone else you deserve and who will treat you with respect, trust and honesty. Relationship based on lies, deceit, distrust doesn't work will never work.

Sorry thats my opinion.

Start afresh, you deserve it unless you feel you don't.

Reply to Me
Posted by: &&& | 2007/11/27

give him his own medicine probably it will help, but is evil to pay revenge.

Reply to &&&
Posted by: blondie | 2007/11/27

It is horrible how someone's elses actions effect one . It just makes me spitting mad esp when i am still with him. I have failed myself

Reply to blondie
Posted by: @ | 2007/11/27

its almost a year now but i still can't... I just cant trust my husband any more and its driving me crazy because I feel i might push him to do it again.
i found out while he was starting with the affair, confronted him and he confessed, asked forgiveness and stopprd the affair even called the lady with me and told her it was over. One thing left with me now is i just cant trust him, no matter how hard i try... I cant get over the night i found out... its messing my life up. I just don't know how to get out of it...

Plz anyone who can advise plz do

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